Additional Bug Catcher bugs

Currently running what was suppose to be a one shot in the GLOG system. The dinner part continues ever on, however, and the one shot has turned into a two-parter. One of the players is running Bug Catcher and, due to the situations they find themselves, will need to restock their bugs soon, though the example ecosystems don't match where they find themselves. So, more of 'em:

>>Bugs are insects, spiders, snails, slugs, and limbless worms of all types.
I'm also counting crabs in this, because why not?

EDIT: Apparently, there was a desert ecosystem already written.  As such, I've renamed the ecosystem. Also, after some goodly peer review, I've made a few changes. 

Ecosystem: Red Desert Waste in That One Spot, On That One Guy's Island
  1. Camel Grub - A bloated grub about the size of a small shoe. Surprisingly full of water - really just more than it should have. 1d4 pints worth, in fact. Enough to extinguish a touch, or fill a water skin. The water is clean and refreshing, with no ill effects gained from drinking straight from the bug.
  2. Knock-Knock Butcher Boy - A green and bronze schemed pill bug, that smells slightly of ethanol. When placed into the keyhole of a lock, it'll immediately get to work trying to pick it. Should it successfully pick the lock, it will crawl proudly back into its container, and is usable an additional time that day. Should it fail to pick the lock, it will explode in anger, doing enough damn to destroy the lock, allowing what it was protecting to be accessed. Bug begins with 1d4 skill points in Lockpick, and loses one for each successful attempt. 
  3. Cactus Dancer - Lithe, needle legged spider that has learned the secrets of acupuncture from the cactus spines it dances across. Save vs Stun for 1d4 rounds. 
  4. Corpse Crier Worm - A thin, pale worm that, when placed into the ear of a corpse, will burrow in, stimulating not yet rotten neurons. Allows for 1d6 minutes of Speak With Dead before the brain bits become too eaten to continue. 
  5. D'nith Dust Devil - A trembling little thing with the ability to burst when frightened as a, presumably, evolutionary defense mechanism. Creates a 20' cloud of sand, thick enough to hinder vision to anyone inside, or trying to see through, the cloud. Anyone caught within the area suddenly finds themselves trying to breath sand. Save vs Suffocation, or spend a round chocking and coughing. Easiest way to frighten the thing is to throw it. 
  6. Missile Hornet - A blue and black schemed hornet, with an ethereal glow. By shaking the capture phial vigorously, then uncorking and pointing towards a target, the hornet will strike out in pure hornet anger. It attacks over multiple rounds for 1d8, 1d6, 1d4 and finally 1 point of damage. The target may circumvent these attacks by spending a round to crush the thing, doing 1 point of damage to itself in the process. 
  7. Scorpion - Just a normal scorpion. You ever have one of these thrown at you? Good Lord. Target makes a save vs Fumble, or lose everything they're currently holding as they freak out. 
  8. Skillapede - A foot long centipede looking monstrosity​, with legs nearly the same length as its central body. When applied along the user's spine, the skillapede burrows its various appendages into the flesh. Its legs wrap around the nervous system, the fangs pierce the base of the skull. Why use this horrific thing? Because somewhere along the way someone, somehow, figured out the bug Bestows increased skill ability. Add 1d4 of a following skill, rolled when finding the bug (1. Carpentry, 2. Advanced Mathematics, 3. Metal Working, 4. Herbalism, 5. Alchemy, 6. Theoretical Biology) 
  9. Apocalocus - A black and red locus with far too many barbs. When placed or thrown on an object of relative organic status, it will devour that item entirely, before collapsing into a food coma. Wooden door, worn leather jerkin, coal golem. Living creatures have enough sense to move away it as it starts biting, so it lacks in attack application (save for eating away the armor). 
  10. Grim Maggot - Actually an inch long caterpillar, bearing a skull pattern on its head and a Vantablack body. Upon being released from the jar, the Maggot will crawl exactly 10' before standing on its hind most legs an beginning a sobering dirge loud enough for anyone in the room to hear (50' if outside). The song functions as the Doom Song spell for 1d4 rounds. At the end of these rounds, the caterpillar's skin splits open, releasing a Grim Fly (1 HD) into the world. It is under no one's control, nor is the subsequent Reverent. 

Ecosystem: Beach
  1. Beach Comber - A tiny, palm sized crab with a knack for finding small, shiny objects. When released, it will scuttle off and return 2d6 rounds later, dragging a one-handed size object behind it. Once delivered, it will wander off, full of a sense of accomplishment from a job well done.
  2. Black Tea Slug - When squeezed and wrung out, this tar black slug produces enough Grease to cover a 10x10 area.
  3. Black  Musta Lentaa - Target must Save or not act that round as the fly's painful bites distract them. 
  4. Bunker Barnacle - Popping this barnacle in your mouth grants you immunity to weapons for 1d4 rounds, as your skin calcifies. It also, however, glues you in place, disallowing you to move or take any action other than muffled speech. 
  5. Eldritch Worm - Seems more tentacle than worm. By sliding this into your ear, and allowing it to crawl in completely, the Bug Catcher gains Wizard Vision for 24 hours. Strangely, it never comes back out. 
  6. St. Tollan's Hermit - Through sucking this poor, malformed crab from its shell and swallowing whole, the Bug catcher can merge with the next stone surface they touch. The stone must be larger than the User. While the Catcher can hear through the stone, they can not see, move or eat. They may stay merged for as long as they like, however any damage done to the stone, magic or otherwise, expels the Catcher, leaving them stunned for 1d6 rounds. 
  7. Fulgens Gemma Beetle - By squeezing this glittering beetle into your mouth, and swallowing the innards, the Bug catcher will vomit forth a Prismatic Ray in 1d4 rounds, for (level)d6 damage. 
  8. Naty Maton Fly - By uncorking the bottle this tiny, proboscis wielding fly is kept in and screaming "GO! NOW! GET 'EM! GET 'EM! BRING ME THEIR BLOOD SO THAT I MAY FEAST!"* said fly (0HD, 1HP, Def 6) is encouraged to launch out, making touch attacks on targets. Upon successful attack, the fly drains 1d4 HP and looses 2 defense, as it becomes slowed by the sweet red nectar. Upon screaming the command "TO ME! RETURN!"* and gesturing at your open mouth, the fly zips back, allowing you to swallow it, thus healing yourself for the same amount of damage done. (*The screaming is vital to the process. If the player refuses to scream, well, the fly wanders off doesn't it?)
  9. Wave Crasher Flea - When ingested, save or gain 2d4 points of Drunkenness. It is said the original waves were started from drunken whales vomiting. 
  10. Siren Slug - The Bug Catcher whispers to the slug, before releasing it. It then begins to make a high pitched "song." Anyone who can hear the Slug's song, must make a save or gain a Conviction (told to the slug in the initial whispers).


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Paladins


Lately I've taken to woodworking. I'm still getting the hang of it, learning the ropes and all that, but I'm enjoying it. It's a relaxing change to the typical "herp derp, neural network *type type type*" of my day. It lets my mind settle, run clean. Nearly zen like. And lately, as I've done this inner searching, I've realized one thing:

Fuck Paladins.




Seriously. Bunch of jerks named after a hill.

Everyone I've seen played has been merely a fighter that happened to get spells because they carried a holy symbol. Most showed more concern for their horses than, say, a beggar in need.

This can be fixed.

The main change I'm throwing around is that the paladin's spells aren't guaranteed. None of this "spells per day because I'm holding this holy symbol" nonsense. As a paladin, you are not the extension of your god's Will; that's the cleric's purpose. As a paladin, you are a Champion of the god. You must be seen carrying out their work, and proving your worth. You wanna wield divine power? Go feed the poor. Defend a peasant farm from bandits. Sacrifice yourself so your friends can escape. Gain the heart of the people and you'll gain the favor of your god.

In performing such tasks you'll earn Good Boy Points Points of Divine Favor. While an hour of prayer will give you access to all your spells for the day, you must have enough Divine Favor to cast them. Essentially, the "casting cost" of the spell is equal to the "level" of the spell. Looking to cast Bless? As a first level spell, that's one point cost. Commune? Five points. Part Water? Too bad, that's not really your thing, but you get the idea. A non-exhausted list of actions and their point rewards are below. As is your spell list.

Now, as said, gaining these spells requires an hour of prayer, usually taken in the morning. Casting them, however, is a quick action, in which the favor of your god is called upon, either through prayer or dedication. Casting in this way is fairly subtle and, save for some of the higher level spells, can be mistaken for skill or luck. Going for a Michael Carpenter vibe here, I won't lie.

Rewards and Associated Actions
1 point
  • Praying at Shrine
  • Donating items of minor value
2 point
  • Upholding a tenant of your god
  • Completing a Church Quest
  • Donating items of value
3 point
  • Defending a Holy Site important to your pantheon
  • Returning a Major Artifact to the church
  • Defending those weaker or in need
4 point
  • Completing a Holy Quest 
  • Sacrificing yourself for another in a significant manner
Again, not exhaustive, and should be tailored to suit the god in question. I image a Snake god and a Fire god have very different definitions of "good things."

Points do carry over from day-to-day, however any unused points diminish by two every week. The intent is you continue doing good deeds. There are ways to lose points, mind you. Ask your GM, or stab a beggar, to find out.

Fighting bits are left mostly the same. Proficiency in armor and weapons, skills (where appropriate), and others track mostly the same. To Hit bonus has been halved, to account for spell casting without an attribute attachment.

You'll notice the only healing spell/prayer in the spell list is Sacrifice. This is intentional.

The Brass Tacks 

HP: As Fighter
To Hit bonus: +1 every other level (half of Fighter)
Saves: As Cleric
Max Divine Favor pool: Character Level



Level
Hit Points
To Hit
Paralyze
Poison
Breath
Device
Magic
1
1d8
+1
14
11
16
12
15
2
+1d8

14
11
16
12
15
3
+1d8
+2
14
11
16
12
15
4
+1d8

14
11
16
12
15
5
+1d8
+3
12
9
14
10
12
6
+1d8

12
9
14
10
12
7
+1d8
+4
12
9
14
10
12
8
+1d8

12
9
14
10
12
9
+1d8
+5
10
7
12
8
12
10
+3

10
7
12
8
12

Spell List

Level 0
Detect Evil

Level 1
Bless (unable to target self)
Detect Magic
Protection from Evil
Remove Fear

Level 2
Delay Poison
Detect Invisible
Heroism
Resist Cold
Resist Fire

Level 3
Dispel Magic
Detect Illusion
Sacrifice

Level 4
Detect Life
Protection from Evil 10'
Turn Undead (at Level-4)

Level 5
Commune
Dispel Evil
True Seeing

Level 6
Anti-Magic Shell
Find the Path
Forbiddance
Tongues

Level 7
Holy Word
Spell Turning


Closing Thoughts
Balanced? Probably not. Divine favor pool could use some tweaking. I can see Bless getting out of hand as currently written. Level 4 could use some beefing out. I've become genuinely curious as to how this plays.
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BEES!

Someone has mentioned to me "its more important to just *put out content*, then worry about half-written blog posts." That seems unwholesome and unsatisfying to me, but, also, I haven't posted in an month or more. So, because of that, you folk get to deal with copy/paste from a document I've labelled simply "Bees." See if you can guess why.

Why bees? I like bees. They give me a substance I turn into booze.

Creatures

Bee Golem

Not actually a golem, per se, but it sounds cooler than "humanoid bee swarm." Well, now that I've repeated it several times, maybe not. Either way, when the hive is threatened the bees (save for the Queen and her retinue, as well as the workers not present) swarm out, taking the vague shape of a large humanoid filling a 10'x10' space with appropriate reach. While it appears fairly solid, due to the massive number of bees involved, any attack against it using traditional weaponry (swords, arrows) pass right through it.

Number wise, we're talking about 10,000 bees per "golem", meaning a healthy hive can host 2 to 6 of these things. Though, if during the day, most of the workers will be out working, so just one forming is reasonable. And probably better for players.

While it is immune to normal weapons, area effects auto hit and do 5,000 damage as that number of bees decide the current course of action might night be the best.  Significant smoke effects will disperse the golem within 1d4+2 rounds, as the alarm pheromones become masked causing the bees to think everything is safe.

The bee golem can attack in several fashions, none of them pleasant. First, a range attack where a group of bees are launched at a target, swarming and attacking as breath weapon. Second, a slam attack where the fists of the humanoid cloud smashes into the target, however, this attack also does the same amount of damage to the golem, as the bees squish themselves and fall away. Finally, and most horribly, the bees have an 'engulf' attack, where the swarm gets automatic hits against whom ever shares the squares with them. All attacks are for 1d6.

The bee golem fears no critical hit, nor can it perform one. However, there is a 1 in 100 chance that a character is allergic to bees and will suffer a poison condition when stung. Alright, yes, it is technically 6 million to 1, but that's even more useless.

Bee Hounds

Dogs with bees in their mouth. When they bark they shoot bees at you.

Stats: As Dog, but with 1d6 Mouth Bee attack

Items

Bee Helmet

It is a helmet. Full of bees. Provides normal armor bonus and also protects against all Mind altering effects. This is due to the bees constantly stinging you, distracting you from the effects. Anything that needs concentration to sustain also automatically fails.

Charm Person? Not on this guy!

Bee in a vial
Ever wonder what happens when a colony feeds on spilled health potion instead of a sugar source? Ofcourse not. Either way, short answer: Healing bees. Keep one in a vial, shake the vial to anger it, apply to skin. When it stings you, treat as the smallest healing spell you got. Why this? I don't know. Why anything?

Slumgum Candle
A black candle made from the residue of beeswax rendering leftovers. When lit, it burns readily and makes an excellent fire starter. Treat as a standard candle, but one quality grade higher than normal.

Dream Mead
Originally fermented by an adventuring guild looking to make coin the city wouldn't tax (long story), Dream Mead uses the honey harvested from dire bees. While the honey is known to send the eater into a dream filled sleep, the mead sends the drinker into an alcohol fueled vision. The player may ask question composed of a number of words based on the number of drinks consumed; at a rate of two words per drink (8 drinks per bottle; drunk rules are doubled if used, -4 to stats until sober otherwise). Answers then play out before the drinker in response. Multiple drinkers do not get to share word count, but do see the same vision.

Beefolk Armor
If'n you've encountered the Beefolk of the Forgotten Lands ("How is it forgotten? It's on the map!" Shut. Up.) then your Murder Hobos have probably killed one and had the idea to hollow one out and wear their carapace as armor. Luckily, given the size, they can. The exoskeleton provides a Chain mail's rating of armor, and the wearer detects as "bee" or "insect", whichever is more usable. Also, "female" if they killed a worker, "male" if they killed a drone. The Queen, in her Majesty, is not suitable for armor making.


Spells

Summon Bee Golem
Cast via whispering promises of sugar into a lit Slumgum Candle, followed by a complicated dance involving plenty of butt wiggling and blowing out the candle. If outside, the golem arrives within 1d4 rounds. If inside, 1d6 minutes as they attempt to find a route inside. Using the slumgum candle in this manner reduces the quality rank by one.

Bee Eye
This spell requires two bees, who's eggs were laid in the same single hive cell and managed to reach adulthood (not even a remotely natural happening). These malformed bees must be taken from the hive and placed into a jar at the same time. The spell itself is cast via shaking the jar vigorously and shouting the incant, then opening the jar and shoving the opening to your eye. As the first bee inevitably stings the caster, it shrivels to a husk and collapses, leaving the stinger in the caster's eye. The other bee swells with life and vigor it should have had. The caster, in the eye he was stung, is now able to see through the surviving bee and direct its movements. The spell lasts as long as the stinger remains in the caster's eye.

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The Bone Field

Arthur Fieldsman was a good man.

True to his family name he tended the fields, just as his father, and his father, had. His harvests were bountiful and his livestock, more often than not, were hearty.

He had a good wife. Their marriage had been arranged, sure, but he loved her well enough, and didn't strike her often out of turn. She bore him three healthy and strong children. Each looked like him, but with their mother's dark hair.

He had good friends. Every public house welcomed him with cheers. Those who passed him always offered a smile in greetings. Should he be in need, help was not far away. Some disputes were had, but such is way of neighbors, and no ill will remained a fortnight. Save for the Constable, who never seemed to care for him.

He was a pious man. Like all those that worship the god of Agriculture, he kept a field dedicated - always planted and never harvested. He even rotated the location of the Dedicated field, giving it the best soil he had. Every morning, as the sun rose, he would read the scriptures and recite the Words. Truth be told, though, his reading wasn't the best, so he look upon the illuminations of the codex and remembered what he had been taught.

Arthur Fieldsman was an unfortunate man.

A strange predator came upon the town; a creature glimpsed only in moonlight and shadow. A creature appearing as though a bear, but with a bird's beak rather than a muzzle. It took small animals at first. Chickens, ducks, rabbits, pets. Tearing at the cages and pens with a surgical precision, it started at Arthur's homestead, returning night after night, seeking its next meal. When Arthur's small animals had been exhausted, it moved to the next farm, then the next. When the village ran out of minor livestock, it took bigger. Again it started at Arthur's, then moved on, carving a strange pattern through town.

Then, it came for the children and women folk. Seemingly embolden by its unstopped trail of destruction and carnage, it took to claiming the lest able to protect themselves, and usually without so much as a scream. One night the children would be tucked away, the next morning they would be simply missing, usually with nothing more than a broken lantern or stray torch to suggest foul play.

While it didn't follow the usual pattern around the village, it did begin at the usual place: Arthur's farm. The first night it grabbed the youngest child (rumored to be a mistake), the next the oldest (whom with Arthur often argued), and on the third the middle child (whom Arthur truly favored). From there it randomly began to take from the town. The smith's child, then the butcher's. The general store owner's was next. When the children became too hard to take, due to increased watching over or increased rarity, it turned on the wifmen. Again, starting at Arthur's.

At this point, keen observers were likely to point out that the Constable and his family had largely been spared these hardships. An outsider, assigned to the town by the King years ago, the Constable had disliked Arthur from day one. Some rumored it was an ancient family blood feud, others claimed the Constable had Known Arthur's wife before she was married to him. Still others spoke of strange technicalities in land holding that made the Constable a tenant of Arthur's family, and therefore ineligible to vote in the council which he served.

However, those rumors were put to an end when a distraught Arthur staggered into a tavern, wild eyed and covered in blood. He described a scene of gore and bloodshed, in which him and a man whose home he was helping keep watch were attacked by the beast. Moments later, however, the new widow, who had been hiding within the house, arrived and revealed having seen the whole scene. Only her version involved Arthur attacking and slaying the man, before dragging him off towards Arthur's farm.

Seeing himself surrounded, Arthur quickly drew his dagger and opened his own throat.

Arthur Fieldsman was fucking insane.

Before any of this began, in his annual tillage of his fields, he unearthed a collection of bones. Most appeared to be deer, though more than a few he couldn't identify. Thinking little of it, as the land was ancient, he continued his farming. Come night fall, though, the voices began. Indistinct at first, mere whispers on the wind, the coming days proved stressful for Arthur. Who was speaking to him? Why did no one else hear them?

Hiding his mental break down under the veil of a moonless night, the voices drew him into the cornfields, growing louder with every step. Deeper it called him, and deeper still. By the time reached the bones, the din was deafening. Crying out to his gods for mercy, he collapsed to his knees and took up the bones. For the first time, they spoke clearly.

"We are lonely. We thirst."

Confused by this, Arthur offered water and to stay, to speak with them. But the Dead do not seek mortal company, nor crave living libations; they sought death and blood. Fetching a chicken at once, he drained the body over the bones, and left the body among them. This, for a time, sated the Bonefield, and it fell silent. Though not for long. More and more the Field cried out, more and more he gave it. He soon moved his Dedicated Field to hide his crimes, and dawned a costume used in winter traditional celebrations to hide his shame. And thus his murder spree began.

Arthur Fieldsman was fucking insane.

Or was he?

The Bone Field


Centuries ago, before the town was founded, a battle took place here between forgotten armies. Forgotten and berried in time, the dead become restless and, when finally uncovered, lashed out, making demands cryptic and hungry. They'll more than likely continue their havoc until sated. They literally have nothing else to do.

So what do the dead want? Hell if I know, let's check:

  1. Blood, at least a person's worth.
  2. No, no. More than that. MORE BLOOD.
  3. A memorial stone raised to mark the location of the battle.
  4. For vengeance to be taken out upon the enemy army.
  5. To be returned to their homeland for proper burial. But, who's bones are who's?
  6. News on the war and/or the outcome.
  7. More company! More blood! More bones!
  8. A hogshead of eels dumped on the sight (They're dead, not sane.)
  9. An oath of servitude
  10. Seriously, is this all the blood you have on you? Go get more. 
So why do your Murder Hobos care about this? Some thoughts for usage:
  • The PCs find the town completely empty, save for a crazed Arthur. He'll relay to them how the town was attacked by a strange creature crossed between a bear and an owl that comes at night, and how it has taken everyone in town. He'll plead for the heroes to stay and protect him, as the last survivor. He'll then try to get them alone. For murdering purposes. 
  • The town is currently in full terror at the mysterious killings and disappearances. The people will ask the PCs to help and someone, probably Arthur, will direct them to a cave in the hills, several miles from town. Ain't nothing in the cave, save for a hermit with several bear cloaks. He claims ignorance of the situation and should probably seem suspicious from his social ineptitude. 
  • The events above have carried out as told. The town is scared, confused and suspicious. On top of this, the Dead have begun sending Undead into the town to investigate the loss of their servant. Like, a lot of them. They do the usual undead things. 
Hellrunas will at once recognize this place as a location of power, and fully able to make additional pacts here. Arthur, in fact, nearly joined their ranks, but his mind strayed and became lost. 

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Cagot



To be blunt: You're hated.

Your only crime, however, is that your family name became included in a rhyming song meant to remind the people that you and yours are meant to be shunned. How'd your family name get on the list? Who knows, it was centuries ago. Since then, though, your kind as been outed from the community: forced to live in separate towns; unable to walk barefoot along roads; not even allowed to take religious services with the general public. Any attempt to do so, on your part, will be quick removal of the offending body part.

Almost as if you're some sort of curse bearing monster.

Oh, right.

the Cagot

So, your only OTHER crime is being the embodiment of what these people fear. It is highly likely that someone in your ancestry had these abilities, and got your family added to the list. Not all Cagots have these abilities, but all that have them are Cagots.

Any Wizard Sight or magical sensing used against you shows you as a creature of corruption. Even if you're a philanthropist, who's given your vast treasure to orphans. Though, no one is likely to take any money from your filthy hands. Animals Hate you and will instinctively avoid you.

Special requirement: Charisma must be 9 or below.

Starting equipment: Half normal starting currency; Duck's leg necklace

XP progression, HP, and Saves as Specialist

Bushcraft Skill as per Halfling.

Curse! At first level, and every level there after, you're able to "cultivate" a curse within you. This curse functions as per the Bestow Curse spell, and is deliverable through touch. A specific curse is determined when you begin to cultivate it. Each curse may be cast once per day, but a specific curse may only have one on going version. If cast again on a new target tomorrow, it becomes dispelled from the original target of today. Should the curse be Removed before you dispel it, you can not use it again for a week.


Closing Thoughts
I've no clue as to how this class plays, or why the hell someone would want to play it. I've simply read an article on these unfortunate group of people, who were shunned after someone said "You've got cooties!" and no one else got the joke, then had a hankering to write a class during lunch. Seems like a one trick glass pony to me, but if you're smart with the curses, seems it could be powerful.  Other abilities considered where using your blood on weapons to inflict your curses at range, and one where, in a very messy operation, you pass your cagotry on to someone else, loosing your levels, but being free of the curses. It amused me, but seemed off.

Varient: Diseases rather than curses. Same great shunning, new great taste.
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I made a thing

A buddy of mine is really into that Skyrim game. So, for his birthday (half, a full, two month passed), I thought to make him a wall hanging of Whiterun's Shield. I debated on an actual, usable shield, but wall art seems more suitable in this day and age. Also, larping has passed us both.

Music used: Krauka - stiklur

The steps:

1. Buy the board. I used this thing from Lowes. I ain't got no time for cutting things right now.

2. Apply stain. Used a pre-stain and dark walnut for this. This was my first time using stain and, I won't lie, it got out of hand. Stain is not paint. A pile of oil soaked rags later, though, I managed to rein it in.

Looks good. 
3. Add the field. For this I used some gold paint that just sort of came with the house when we bought it. Nothing in the house itself uses this paint, so I can only suspect sinister purposes. I probably should have used some sort of template or guide to get a perfect circle, but I did it by hand instead.

Like a maverick.


4. Next came the stencil making. Took me forever to find a decent picture and jam it into a photoworking program. Switch it all to black and white, crop the sides, and add some bridging sections. You'll figure it out. Or just use this:


Print it to 11x17 paper and you're good to go. Just got to cut it out.

It was about this time I started to rethink the friendship.

5. Now, after suffering through that, I took it to the piece and aligned it so the boards are running vertical, and the stencil sat relatively centered in the field. I, personally, would have preferred the boards running horizontal, but the source material has them vertical. This seems less efficient against an ax. Though, as this ain't meant for actual defense, I didn't worry about it too much.

After getting it centered, just taped it down and painted. Used a sponge brush to sop the acrylic paint down rather quick.





Not too horrible! Just gotta fill in the bridge areas. The slightest mistake here will destroy the whole thing! No pressure!
Naw, it worked out.


I'm actually surprised at how well it turned out. Now I just gotta get it to the big dummy. Or, maybe I just keep it.

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The Stones of Teufel

Lately, I've been thinking about the meaningless of reality. About the unstoppable march of entropy leading to the eventual heat death of the universe. About how void life is of meaning; the uselessness of effort.

I've also been thinking of demons, wizards, dogs and runes. Two of these I'll jam together. The other two, I'll hold for later. Let's see what the hell I'm up to:

The Stones of Teufel


Runes carved on to stones have been used for divination since magic came to the northern lands. Place them in a sack, think about your question and draw. Knowledge can then be gleaned from the results. Basic stuff that everyone knows.

However, there was one wizard who saw this as nothing more than random chance. He sought more in his divination rituals; he sought certainty. He sought knowledge unknowable. In his madness he carved the runes and inked them in his own blood. Then, from the gap beyond physical space, he drew forth twenty four shapeless consciousnesses, and bound them to the stones.

For this his name should have been remembered for all time. Instead, due to what happened next, his name has been burned from the history books. Cursed and forgotten.

The stones - or rather the consciousnesses bound to them - given form in this reality did indeed provide the accurate divination the wizard so craved, but in doing so began to learn. Began to grow.
Within the decade, the entities on the rune stones gained true sentience and with it, free will.

The stones whispered out to those nearest the wizard, tempting them into stealing the stones, and taking the stones for themselves. Promises of power, appeals of lust, or brute mental assault; these were the lures used, and, in time, the stones were stolen. Once claimed, however, the thieves found themselves patsies to, and now hosts of, the entities bound within. Through these hosts, the entities were able to take full physical manifestations.

Now calling themselves the Teufel (or "Demons" by the peasantry, as they spit and make several warding gestures), they sought nothing more than to sew fear and destruction through out the ages. Some formed cults, others played games of chess with city-states as pawns. Still others turned the weak minded into murderous psychopaths. Several groups have risen to defend against them, yet all eventually fall, the stones they took possession of returning to circulation.

Interestingly, should conflict arise between the Teufel, lines seem to be drawn along aett membership.

Listed below is overview information on the Teufel. More indepth information on each to follow as warranted. They are known to have three physical forms: that of the host, that of the Tuefel in full, and a hybrid of the two forms. While in hybrid or true form, a mark of the Teufel's rune burns dully on their skin. While the rune names are used for individual Teufel when needed, feel free to create your own by mashing the keyboard randomly, then adding random apostrophes - because fantasy names.

A smarter man would have shortened this list by aetts. I've started this and stopped, several times, overwhelmed by the amount of work I've bit off. I've learned a lot about production management and setting timing goals in writing this thing. Or, rather, I've encountered these problems. It is likely I've learned nothing from this.

Rune
   A humanoid with multisegmented legs, matted rusty fur hiding rows of barbs, an over broad head bound in a carapace and flesh with a mouth poorly stretched around two mandibles, dripping a foul viscus fluid, and two burning green eyes. Hosts tend to be wealthy individuals, whether suddenly or old money. In both host form and teufel form, any treasure given out freely is cursed. Holder of the treasure should make a Save vs Magic per hour, until the curse is triggered. Once the curse has been triggered, the treasure is no longer cursed.

Rune
   The beasts stands a foot or more higher than the host, bearing the legs and head of an ox, though the chest of human, matted in thick fur. Onyx horns grow from the side of the head, tipped in gold. Its eyes, nose and mouth constantly drip blood. The host enjoys significant increased (+4) physical attributes, significant lowered (-4) mental attributes and the ability to perform bull rush attacks. They also gain a lust for brutality.

   In an ancient age, the Mad King Tryggvason received the uruz stone as a coronation gift. Where his father's reign was known as a time of peace, his is noted for the violence and suffering forced onto the kingdom by the king. Myth states he built a hidden maze under the capital city, in which he hunted humans for sport.

Rune
   A hulking, hunched over, blue thick-scaled reptilian humanoid monstrosity, armed with five inch claws on each finger. Lighting arcs across the beast's body, occasionally leaping to near by things, allowing the host and demon to apply electrical damage to their attacks. Externally sourced electricity tends to provide healing. The host also gains a controlled and moderately uncontrollable (save based, when angered) ability to enter a Rage state.

   There is a  tale of an old man that stalks the ruins through out the Pass of the Thunder King seemingly searching for something. The old man, if encountered, will offer hospitality, but inevitably grow short in temper, casting the adventurers back out in the harsh weather of the pass. In short order, the old man summons a hulking beast and a monstrous storm to hunt down those who provided the offense. None are known to have escaped the beast. So...how do these stories get back to be told? Same way they always do.

Rune
   A speaker of honeyed words (a constant charm effect), the host form tends to have the ear of a king, general or other person of power. The transformation to teufel form involves the peeling of skin and sickening shifting of bone. The head elongates and sprouts four extra eyes, the hair melding into fleshy tendrils. Along the body further tendrils sprout. Each of these flesh stalks - including the tongue in the skull - split open on the tip, revealing a mouth. As the beast moves, the mouths whisper  secrets and taunts; lies and truths.

Rune
   The monstrosity appears as the host, but with six extra arms growing from their abdomen, multi-jointed backwards; their legs merged together, bending the wrong way around into a crude stinger tail, tipped by bone spikes generated from their feet. They crawl on their backs, neck twisted 180 degrees. Their lower jaw splits open, creating mandibles dripping with a thick green toxin. This toxin allows for a Poison attack via bite and stringer, which offers the standard Save vs Poison to resist, and causes paralysis and eventually death.

   Centuries ago, the beast ravaged a countryside, poisoning the fields and water, praying upon livestock and peasants alike. Farms were razed, meadhalls abandoned. A passing band of gallowglass heard of the destruction and sought the beast out. What they found was a maddening cave of gore and horror. Quivering sacks of flesh, pools of poison, shifting caverns that doubled back on themselves and, at the center of it all, the beast. Before confronting the monster, the leader of the men sent the survivors to find their fallen alchemist's supplies and, as he distracted the creature, bring the cave entrance down. Neither were seen again, though the land remains uninhabitable.

Rune
   Walking upon festering, cracked hoof legs; wearing thin stretched yellowy skin over a lithe frame; and having a horse skull for a head, Kaunan is the Plague that Walks. Where he walks ruin follows. Plants wilt and die, milk curdles in the teat, livestock begin to rot while still alive, peasants grow festering wounds.  Standing ten feet tall, it is capable of belching forth a cloud of disease (once per hour; 20ft radius; Save vs Poison) as well as imbuing arrows with plague (as Apollo from Greek myth; 3/day).

   Centuries ago, a strange sickness befell the small village of Krankheit. One in every three fell sick. The king, in his grace, sent his very own physician. Arriving in customary plague garb - bird mask, brim hat, overlong robe - the physician took the old town meeting building as his ward. At first, it seemed relief had finally arrived to the town. Yet, despite the efforts of the plague doctor, the plague grew worse. Or, rather, it simply grew. It spread to the live stock, the plants, the very ground. A purple, spore releasing weed slowly grew from the town hall.  And then, most disturbingly, the dead began to walk. The mass graves emptied themselves, the newly deceased rose from their sick beds. In fear, the people sought out the doctor. What they found in his stead, however, was the Kaunan tuefel.

  A sole survivor was found miles from the town, suffering and in pain. Based on the account he relayed, the king ordered a wall built around the town. Since then, the wall has been guarded by the kingsmen, and expanded out of necessity twice - to attempt to hold off the spread of the strange weed. The tuefel has not been seen since, but no one has had the steel will to journey into the town to check.

Rune
   In teufel form Gebo appears as a figure covered in pink, wet, burned-healed flesh, lacking hair, eyelids, nose, ears and nails. On occasion the skin can be seen to squirm of it's own accord. Other times - the bad times - the skin can be seen to peel away from the body in strips, exposing the leaking flesh underneath, and lashing out as if tentacles. Further, should any weapon (missile) strike the sticky wet skin, the holder of said weapon makes a Save vs Paralysis/Resist Disarm, or have the item wrenched from their hands (missiles, obviously, do not get this save). The aforementioned skin tentacles can then easily weld these weapons.

Rune
   Unlike the transformation of the other teufel that usually involve the slow and subtle changing of features, the transformation for Wunjo involves the host literally vomiting their insides up, until the expelled quivering mass of flesh inhales the remains of the host, before solidifying into a lithe form with cloak like black molting wings for arms, and a horned raven head. Black, fermented ichor spills from its mouth as it speaks. Strange parasites crawl in and out of the feathers. Those that come in physical contact with the creature suffer from a hangover, though all within 30 feet find it hard to remember the encounter later.

Exposure to the ichor causes permanent memory loss.
Exposure to the parasites bestows (on a failed save) a blood borne disease that causes uncontrolled dancing.

Rune
   While most teufel forms are fairly consistent, Hagalaz's form alters based on the dead in the surrounding area, as they crawl from their resting spot and join the collective form. Due to this, Hagalaz is typically composed of animals, however in urban areas it tends to be more humanoid form. Which ever form it takes, Hagalaz carries the ability to bestow unlife onto corpses around them, from zombie to bone golem  when fresh bodies are hard to find. Often works in conjunction with Kaunan.

Rune
   A creature of pure, twisting shadow, Naudiz is rarely encountered directly. His power, however, when encountered, is rarely forgotten. The teufel is able to bend light and shadow to form the most believable illusions, showing the victim their greatest fears, pried from the depths of their very souls. So fine is its control over the illusions that it can show one adventurer an image of their mother peeling her own skin off before disemboweling herself while never losing her ever widening smile, whilst the rest of the party watches helplessly in imaginary chains as the original party member is swallowed whole by a (real??) flesh worm.

Rune
  Appearing as a Large, vaguely humanoid form of solid ice, save for the host trapped frozen within, Isaz is a slow moving force of nature.  Any water based substance that touches (including blood) freezes instantly, allowing for an increasing of mass and change in shape relatively easily. As an abomination of ice, fire does time and a half damage in both teufel and host form. Not exactly known for it's ability for independent thought, Isaz is often used as muscle in the plans of other teufel. The host is given little consideration.

Rune
   On first sight, Jera appears to be the host from the waist up, and a large, swollen locust from the waist down. Though, on a closer, more awful, second look, they're revealed to be entirely composed of locusts, of various size and colors, squirming and crawling over one another. At will, the teufel can explode into a swarm and control said swarm with full proficiency, and can strip a corpse of all flesh in mere moments. When in this state, Jera attacks as though a breath weapon (save or be bit for 1d8), and can only be damaged by area effects.

Rune
   Often confused for a Bla-Maor of the southern Highsunlands by the untraveled peasantry, Ihwaz appears as a bald, muscular, figure standing seven feet tall with deep obsidian skin and glowing red eyes. It rarely speaks, and prefers being hosted by mutes, but when it does it speaks in a voice as deep as stone slap sliding over burial vaults. Ihwaz grants the ability to cast and read the runes with complete accuracy, however all divinations are grim and of ill portent. Consider it a Bestow Curse [Pretty Fucked] if you're needing more detailed mechanics.

Rune
   Appearing as a floating sack of flesh with a subliming form and trailing, elongated arms, the body doted with a plurality of eyes, and a maw lined with needle teeth, Pertho allows the host to summon spirits of the dead, and compel them to speak. With this ability, the teufel has formed many cults through out the ages, tempting the followers with ability to speak to lost ones once more.

Rune
   Standing a noble seven feet tall, Algiz appears as a humanoid covered in short brown fur with a deer's head, the antlers of which are shedding and bloody. A flame burns eternal between the antlers, yet produces no heat and only the faintest of light. Those posessed by it gain access to magical abilities  and arcane knowledge (+3 level). They also gain the desire to wear nothing but fine magical robes.

   Little is known of Algiz, as it prefers to work behind the scenes, in support of other teufel plots.

Rune
   The host's hair burns away as scales erupt from their skin, their legs elongating and forming a twelve foot tail. The eyes are completely replaced with fire. A ridge of bony spines runs from the base of the neck to the tip of the serpentine tail. The upper torso, besides the scales and spines remains mostly the same. Anything the teufel touches takes fire damage; parchment burns, metal heats up hot enough to brand, leather...does whatever leather does when heated. Smells delicious? Weakens it, surely. Further more the teufel is immune to said fire, and even has some control over nearby fire sources (as thematically appropriate). The cold, however, strikes at his heart doing damage and a half again.

   Some scribes attest that the burning of the Knowledgehoard of Wissenstadt - famed for being the largest collection of human works of art, literature and research - to a failed attempt by the Brothers of the Sworn at exercising a pyromancer bound to sowilo, in order to imprison the teufel and secure the stone. Along with hundreds of lives, many rare secrets were lost that night, as the collections of scrolls and codices provided fuel for the raging fires.

Rune
   Ill doom falls upon the community in which Tiwaz takes residence. Magic falters, artisans lose their passion, the common folk become disinterested in their various duties. Continued contact with the teufel imposes cumulative penalties to Mental attributes as minds dull, communication becomes difficult, cleverness is lost (only restored via Remove Curse).  As the small folk don't tend to be strong in the mental functions, towns soon devolve into roaming hordes of angry, grunting thugs.
 
   In transformation, the hosts body twists like a washrag, with all of their limbs splitting in two, gaining length and ending in spikes. Despite being elongated and wrapped around its head, the teufel suffers no hindrance in sight or speech.

Rune
   While the host is always a striking lovely young woman, the teufel appears with a broad, eight-eyed, four mandible mouth full of barbs, on an eight limbed body. The four limbs not shared by the host end in the needle sharp points, and gore webs between each of the limbs.
   In host form, it fully understands the power its physical attributes carry, and will use them in full to carry out its plans. In teufel form, it is fond of lounging in a web of arms and tormenting victims trapped in cocoons of flesh, through injecting them with venom and slowly, agonizingly melting their insides to eventually be drank.
   While rare, on occasion the host can become pregnant. When carried to full term and excreted from her flesh womb, the spawn almost always come out wrong. Too short limbs, tails, tiny horns - all possible deformities. There has only ever been one to come out perfect and passable for human, and he is her Favorite.

   Should she ever find herself in dire straits and at least one of her less favorite children be alive in the world, she need only climb into her armweb, which can then fold in on itself, smaller and smaller, into a singularity. The armweb, and her, will then erupt violently from the offspring, killing it and making a general mess of the area.

Rune
    Gifts the host with extreme speed, but also curses them with a short temper and the ability to be summoned by Mannaz. When in demon form, the host's skin splits and peels away as Ehwaz crawls out, a skeletal horse with eight legs and constantly on fire (has resistances like skeletons). Burning hoof prints mark the ground upon which it walks. Fire belches forth from the bone jaws (Breath Attack, every 1d4 rounds).

   When mounted by Mannaz, Ehwaz gains several additional abilities. Fire solidifies into armor on the skeletal flanks, burning any whom might touch it (save Mannaz) and providing protection. Bull like goring horns burst forth from the horse skull, allowing for an additional attack. Liquid fire drools from the mouth of the horse.

Rune
   Appearing as the host, but with rotten and decaying skin, blood maggots swimming in and out of the flesh. Mannaz, however, when in teufel form, prefers to don bone plate armor over its horrific visage - the suit always having a helm of a human skull fused with ram horns. The teufel bears attack progression as a fighter, and when in the bone plate can sacrifice pieces to force the opponent to reroll damage. On a critical hit, Mannaz has a chance of stealing a bone from the target and replacing the missing piece (through a failed Save vs Magic, obviously). When pieces are missing, however, he gains the ability to attack using the blood maggots, which very much want to burrow into the heart of whom ever they land on. Failed save victims have 1d3+2 rounds before the maggots get to the heart to drink up all the blood within.

Rune
   The head of the host takes the form of a cephalopod with over large eyes and ten tentacles, two of which are three times as long as the rest, encircling a barbed filled mouth, that constantly oozes a thick viscus substance. The body is covered in chromatophores allowing for a Skilled blending into the environment (5-in-6). When in a panic, Laguz can expel a thick cloud of nauseating ink, that both blinds and hinders it's opponents. Further, while uncomfortable, the host has the ability to breathe underwater.

   While not known for one specific event, Laguz tends to take a pleasure in hired killing, considering it a form of art. Perhaps the truest form. Hosts tend to be already skilled assassins. The last known host was rumored to be Longshot Cecil, a member of the Rocktown Assassin's Guild.

Rune
   A bloated, hulking, malformed toad of a thing standing ten feet tall, with gelatinous rolls of fat, hunched shoulders, and pale sickly skin constantly dripping with mucus. A neckless head bears a hinged bullfrog mouth full of needle teeth that is capable of swallowing a small calf whole and two eyes larger than melons. What makes Ingwaz truly terrible, however, are the pox marks covering its back. Evidence of the thinly scab sealed puss sacks underneath it, each mark is an exit point for a one inch, plump, tendriled worm, which, when introduced into the cranial cavity of a host, proceeds to grow its tendrils into the nerves of the host, soon gaining control over them.

Rune
   Appearing as an androgynous humanoid with alabaster skin and a face void of features, save for a ring of cataract filled, lazy dead eyes that encircle the head. While the eyes are physically incapacitated, they offer the host/teufel normal vision in 360 degrees, albeit colorless. Although Othila floats a couple feet off the ground, as touching said ground would sully Othila, it lacks actual capacity for flight. In the rare instance it chooses to speak, it's shrill voice seems to come from within the listener's head.
   While playing host to this stone, the host gains a wealth of arcane and forgotten knowledge, though lucidity may be an issue.

   In the times when prophecy and divination come in fashion, one may find the Brothers of the Poisoned Eye lurking in major cities. Appearing as a social club, they are actually a cult in service to Othila, worshiping it as a deity and, in exchange for their devotion, the teufel teaches the followers the art of divination.

Rune
   A figure of pure light, Dagaz offers the host the ability to see into other realities, even though the way be traditionally blocked. From this the host can glean knowledge of people they couldn't otherwise have, using this (giving bonuses) to persuade or intimidate the target. This ability may also be weaponized. On a successful touch, and failed save by the target, the target is filled with glimpses of other realities. Visions of their infinite failures and uncountable insignificance flood the mind of the target, staggering/stunning them for 1d3 rounds. On a critical and failed save, the target is driven to suicide because, after all, what does it matter? What does anything matter?

Variants 


While I'm personally against its usage, if you're of lesser moral character, you could use the blank stone:

Rune:
   While not actually a rune stone, some sets of lesser integrity hold a blank stone to represent the unknown or unforeseeable. While this seems in contrast to the nature of a divination tool, the set used all those centuries ago contained one. Through dual slit irises, its eyes glow softly with the color of void. Its voice echos with the sounds of burning suns and existential probability. This teufel has only ever had one host, who, upon binding the other teufels to stone, set out to burn his name from existence. In his presence probability and chances tend to alter. Sure Things tend to become Far Shots, and One in a Million Chances happen Nine Times Out of Ten.

Another potential variation is instead of voluntary possession caused by whispered temptations, the stones act as Magic Jars, forcing the hosts out of their bodies and trapping within the stones. How awful would it be to watch the hulking horror melt into an ectoplasm covered old man, who proceeds to vomit up a strange stone, just as the tank screams in pain and begins arcing lightning off themselves? Very much, that is how awful.

Originally, the thought was to have these demon bound to tarot cards, but then flavors and ideas changed. Using that idea is simple enough, however. The above demons are bound to the Major Arcana, while the Minor Arcana is host to minor demons without names. These minor demons provide bonuses to the host based on the card value (divided by 4, round up) and to the attribute represented by the suit.
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