1d100 Failed Cyberpunk Careers

What follows is a list of 1d100 failed careers. It's intended for GLoG.dat usage, but I suppose any weird cyberpunk setting would work for it. Per standard GLoG rules, on the left is your old career, which starts as a level 1 skill, and on the right is the item you managed to walk off with as you left your old job.

Special thanks to Josh at Rise Up, Comis, and Mr. Hughes, cyberpunk guidance counselor at Android High School for helping me in rounding out the list.

	Career		Starting Item
1	Algae Cuisine Chef		3 cudes of dehydrated food grade algae
2	Algae Tank Sluice Operator		Waist-high wellies
3	Android repair man		Electronic repair kit
4	Android-Pop star manager		Earplugs
5	Apocalyptic street preacher		Hollowed out bible
6	Art Dealer		AI made collage box
7	Asteroid miner		Frequency resonator
8	Astrodock laborer		Magnetic boots
9	Bartender		Expensive bottle of top-shelf hooch
10	Biochemist		Vial of hormones
11	Black marketeer of SQUID discs		3 recorded SQUID discs
12	Bootleg Animal Dealer		A small, living (but artificial) animal
13	Buddhist monk		Begging bowl
14	Bureaucrat		Bulletproof clipboard
15	Calorie man		Hand crank generator
16	Cashier at opium den fast food restaurant		3 doses of opium
17	Chatbot Backend		List of chatbot system passwords
18	Cheetah Blood Drainer		Collar with Tap
19	CIA Informant		Bag of drugs
20	Cirque de Solei performer		50ft of silk
21	Clone Decanter		Squeegee, rubber gloves
22	Corporate Drone		ID Card; Stapler
23	Corporate Geomancer		Geomancy tool
24	Cosmonaut		Tattoos of Lennon and Putin over heart; Old space suit
25	Counterfeiter		Fake Traveling papers or license
26	Courier		Mysterious package
27	Cyber Zen Guru		Recurrent wired vizzy
28	Data Courier		Cranium drive augment
29	Data Security		2 casettes
30	Deforester		Chainsaw
31	DIY Pharmacist		Vial of strange drugs
32	Drug Mule		Bag of drugs
33	Environmental ministry inspector		Breathing mask
34	Experimental Moonshiner		Jar of high proof alcohol
35	Feng Shui Consultant		Feng Shui compass
36	Forklift Mech Construction Worker		Hard hat
37	Furry Cult		Animal canine teeth implants (1d6 bite attack)
38	Gene-ripper		2 doses of CustomGenes(tm)
39	Genetically-modified cat exterminator		Hiku brand cat-trap, slightly stained
40	Genetically-modified elephant handler		Pain inducer remote and collar
41	Gunsmith		Weapon repair kit
42	Handsome Weeping Boy (Ikemeso Danshi)		Fine silk suit
43	Hemp Farmer		Bag of marijuana
44	Hinterland Surrogate		Bag of drugs
45	Hologram Artist		Stereoconversion goggles
46	Horse Historian		Bag of horse bones
47	HyperPolo Player		Polo Motorcycle
48	Implant repo		Dissection kit
49	J-Pop star Bodyguard		Earplugs
50	Jailbreaker		Electronics repair kit
51	Jeffrey's Tube Engineer		Mechanics tool kit
52	KGB Operative		1 dose of poison with umbrella for delivery, tattoo of Lennon and Putin
53	Locksmith		Lockpicks
54	Lunar Miner		Lunar pickax
55	Machinist		Tool kit
56	Mafia Family Member		Passcard to a penthouse
57	Mall Santa		Wine stained fake beard
58	Merchant marine		Shipping Charts
59	Meth cook		Bag of drugs
60	Muay thai competitor		Glass laced knuckle-wraps
61	Nail salon slave		Pain inducer remote and collar
62	Nuclear Physicist		Slightly glowing rod
63	Oil Rig Worker		Hard hat
64	Organ Harvester		Dissection kit
65	Organ Incubator		One extra organ of your choice
66	Orphan catcher		Hand cuffs
67	Panzerboy		Ignition key to a burnt-out tank somewhere
68	Paramedic		First aid kit
69	Parkour Competitor		Climbing gloves
70	Patent Classifier		-1 will to live; 3 stolen patent data discs
71	Pimp		Little black book
72	Pizza Delivery		Shitty car
73	Pornographer		Holodisk of Android pornography
74	Professional Apologiser		Auto-Tear-duct augment
75	Prostitute (the oldest profession)		Disease resistant patches
76	Ramen Cook		3 packs of expensive ramen
77	Rastafarian		Bag of weed
78	Renraku prostitute		Still installed "cutout switch"
79	Rent-a-cop		Security uniform
80	Rickshaw Driver		Rickshaw
81	Ringleader for traveling Android Circus		Top hat with PA system
82	Rock Star		Electronic instrument
83	Salary man		Corporate hand book (full of oaths, company songs, and standard practices)
84	security consultant		Remote motion sensor
85	SimLife star		Sense-record unit
86	SimLife star impersonator		Fake sense-record unit
87	Smack supplier for dolphins		Heroin kit (drug, lighter, spoon, needle)
88	Solar balloon squatter		Electronic repair kit
89	SQUID recorder		SQUID magnetometer
90	Street surgeon		Bottle of high proof alcohol
91	Student		3 textbooks; crippling debt
92	Surrogate mother to clone babies		Third breast augmentation
93	TacoCopter Specialist		Mini UAV
94	Tong enforcer		Chinese cigarettes, length of chain
95	Trade magnate		Mysterious package
96	Transit system worker		Lifetime pass
97	Visigoth gang member		Fine Gothic clothing
98	Yakuza enforcer		-1 pinky finger; body tattoo; Fashionable clothes
99	Yoga Instructor to the Stars		Disc full of celebraty secrets
100	Zef Rapper		Fine Silk boxers, Zef Curse

Share: