Saturday, April 21, 2018

Character Sheet Attacking Critters

Because direct HP damage gets boring after a while.

Babel Mold
A dark, chalky mold, that smells slightly of rotten fish, growing in damp, dark places. Typically it grows sprawling across any porous surface, however when it takes to reproducing it grows in fragile nodules that, when disturbed, erupt in a cloud of spores. In most animals, these spores are harmless if inhaled. In animals with a speech ability, the spores infect the brain and creates a spontaneous case of aphasia. Should the PCs be foolish enough to walk through it, have them Save vs Disease. Failure causes their known language(s) to be replaced with "Babble" until cured.

Torri Meddwl
Often called "Brain Fucklers" by the uneducated, the creatures resemble slimy humanoid brains with four probing barbed tentacles. Upon a successful touch attack, the creatures cloud the mind, essentially rending a Lore Bid from their targets current pool. These bids can be restored as normal. Should no Bid remain, the attacks become physical.

     Armor: Touch
     Damage: Special, or Barb 1d4

This guy gets it.
Red Crowned Torri Meddwl
No one is quite sure who named these, or why they named them as they did, as the pattern around their crown is blue. They typically grow to twice the size of their smaller cousins, however are a particular threat to spell casters, as each successful touch attack consumes a spell slot, chosen at random. Should a prepared spell have occupied that slot, there is a 1-in-6 chance the Torri will cast the spell. Spell slots are restored as normal, and the attack becomes physical should none remain to be sapped.

     Armor: Leather
     Damage: Special, or Barb 1d6

Queen Torri Meddwl
The biggest bitch in the brood, her abilities attack the victim's memory directly. In this context, that means the game notes. Yeah, the things you write on the back side of the character sheet. Upon a successful attack, hand them over to the white-out equipped GM, who will then remove 1d8 words "randomly." Don't look at me, I use my brain meat to remember things; straight physical damage for me.

     Armor: Leather
     Damage: Special, or Barb 2d4

Bog Cat
So Majestic
With the body of a jaguar and the head of a handsome ginger with glowing blue eyes, the Bog Cat lurks in swamps and the namesake bogs, awaiting wayward adventures. Upon encountering any that may cross his path, it'll offer games of trivia in exchange for fabulous prizes. It's probably a magic item. Or a freshly killed swamp deer. Either way, should the adventurers accept the challenge and lose, the Bog Cat will eat their name, causing everyone and everything to forget it.

The Bog Cat abhors violence and will slink off effortlessly into the trees, should it be attacked. 

     Armor: Chain+1
     Damage: Special, or Claw Swipe 1d8

<Name Sidebar> 
Names don't heal on their own, as they're not simply a thing you call yourself; those would be titles. Names are the manifestation of the bonds you form in world. When you were born, your parents loved you enough to name you after a great hero. Your schoolmates hated you to the point of giving you a nickname based on a bodily function. Sharing an intimacy with your partner as generated pet names between the two of you. To have your Name eaten is effectively to have those bonds eaten.

While it can't be healed, you may be able to get it back. This would take some major convincing on your part, as the Bog Cat is reluctant to regurgitate it's food. How trashy. And that is, of course, assuming you can find the correct one a second time.

It should be noted that Names are not the same as True Names, and that mortals do not have True Names. Also, the name/title thing is the opposite for the Fey. But those are topics for other sidebars. 
</Name Sidebar>

Eald Wiht
In a darker time, a cruel wizard performed horrendous experiments that involved literally sucking the years of life out of his victims, in an attempt to obtain immortality.  He, himself, probably became a lich; they usually do. His victims, on the other hand, became corpses. However, still charged with the dark arcane energies, the corpses soon arose once more, and now lurk in the dungeons of the ruined tower. Confused by their premature aging, the corpses will lash out at anyone foolish enough to enter their entrapment with their burning cold hands, seeking to sap the remaining years from their bodies. As you can imagine, it REALLY hurts. 

     Armor: Touch-1 
     Damage: Adds 1d6 onto the age of the character. 

Strange, shape-shifting spirits that often take the form of small animals or, on occasion, short humanoids - most often a dog or elderly woman. It waits quietly at crossroads, on watch for any lone traveller or small group of rubes (i.e. the PCs). It offers no hostility until gaining their trust, at which point it leaps on to one of their backs, grabbing on tightly. Once grappled, the Aufhocker increases the victims encumbrance level by one every round (light to medium to heavily) or by 1d4 if point buy. Once the victim is immobilized, the spirit begins to consume it's prize.

     Armor: Chain
     Damage: Encumbrance rating

Sunday, March 25, 2018

10 Maleficence Effects Based on the Plagues of Egypt

"But it's just another bug." What? No. Stop.

Focus. Think.

1. Water into blood (דָם): Ex. 7:14–24

The misaligned arcane energy crashes back onto you, transforming all water based objects in your inventory into blood. This undeniably ruins them. Water skin? Full of blood. Alchemical potion? Just a vial of blood. Bottle of wine? Nope, grape flavored blood. The water in your eyes keeping them moist? Blood. Any vampire in the area can smell this sudden concentration of blood, and they wish to meet you.

2. Frogs (צְּפַרְדֵּעַ): Ex. 7:25–8:15

It's Wednesday, my dudes.
Unbeknownst to you, you begin to produce frog pheromones, and begin to attract all the frogs in the area to you. Now, I worry you read that as "a lot of frogs." No, no. ALL the frogs, as well as the stink, noise, and muck that come with them. The area you're in, there are frogs there, trust me. You're never more than eight feet from a frog. 

More into body horror flavor? That's good, cause you also begin to take on physical features of a frog. Your skin grows slimy and wort covered. Your eyes bulge, your back hunches, your mouth grows ever too wide, your tongue ever too long. Hair falls out, fingers grow webbed, throat grows pouchy, throat pouch fills with squirming tadpoles. These tadpoles live and grow for a few days until you vomit forth your babies (and they ARE your babies), only to have your throat refill with tadpoles. 

3. Gnats (כִּנִּים): Ex. 8:16–19

The word kinim could translate to lice, gnats, or fleas. But that is unimportant. What is important is the red rash beginning to spread across your skin. It itches like a sonofabitch. No soothing balm helps, only scratching. However, scratching also spreads it. You can imagine how stressful this is. 

Either way, the real trouble beings during the camping phase or city action, when the rash subsides and the sneezing begins. With every sternutation clouds of lice and fleas rush from the victim and into the surrounding area, infecting those around them.

4. Mixture of wild animals or flies (עָרוֹב): Ex. 8:20–32

Christian interpreters understand this as a swarm of flies. Ignore this. Jewish interpreters take to this as meaning a swarm of scorpions, venomous snakes, venomous arthropods, and reptiles. So much poison. 

The caster's hair (all of it) turns to snakes, their moles sprout tiny scorpion stingers, their saliva occasionally congeals into centipedes. While the social stigmata is obvious, whenever a court card is played at the table these new body mates become enraged at the host and biting viciously, poisoning them. 

5. Diseased livestock (דֶּבֶר): Ex. 9:1–7

Witches curse livestock; this fact is well known and widely believed. Sometimes, however, the magic backfires and curses the caster instead. When this occurs, the caster begins to sprout patches of musty fur, prone to matting and knotting, and your tongue bloats and grows too big for your mouth. While this may be enough for some, upon encounter an animal (any and all animals), they'll grow immediately aggressive to you. Doesn't matter what sort of animal: cow, chicken, cockatrice, kelpie; all hate you and will try as best as they can to show you. Usually though biting. 

6. Boils (שְׁחִין): Ex. 9:8–12

Exactly what it says on the tin: Painful boils dot the caster's skin. However, when struck by a blow strong enough to burst one (i.e. taking a wound), the boils do indeed burst, but cry out the victim's darkest secret or gravest sin as they do. 

7. Thunderstorm of hail and fire (בָּרָד): Ex. 9:13–35

You know in cartoons when a rain cloud forms above a victims head and rains upon them in a comedic fashion? This is something like that, only with fiery hail and brimstone, instead of rain. And also room/area sized. The shattered hail makes traversal of  the area difficult, the burning sulfur makes breathing painful, and the flames, if left unattended, will start fires. 

8. Locusts (אַרְבֶּה): Ex. 10:1–20

A cloud of biting flies rushes forth from the caster's mouth, filling the room and biting everyone within. They will probe at any potential opening and cavity. Always hungry, always biting. Rations too are in danger, as the flies will consume them rapidly and producing more of themselves at a sickening and alarming rate. They continue until visibility and mobility are zero, at which point, should no food be left, they begin to consume themselves.  

9. Darkness for three days (חוֹשֶך): Ex. 10:21–29

The caster becomes entrapped in eternal midnight. No matter the local time, time within (card*10) meters of the caster is always midnight. Should you be on the surface, a shaft of darkness towers into the sky, with the moon and stars clearly visible. Clocks within the circumference always show midnight, returning to current time once out of range. In the Underworld the world around you is just a bit darker; light sources work at half strength, creatures of darkness are embolden. 

10. Death of firstborn (מַכַּת בְּכוֹרוֹת): Ex. 11:1–12:36

The person you cherish the most appears on the scene and is fated to, before the end of the scene, perish. This person can be anyone: firstborn child, mother, sister, cousin - whom ever is the closest to your heart. The person came here for no other reason but to see you, and developed the urge long enough ago to appropriately travel to your location, suffering similar trials and tribulations along the way. 

Their death may be violent (as is likely in combat) or sudden (such as a heart attack). Healing automatically fails against them. No matter the actions, they WILL die before the scene is ended.

Saturday, January 13, 2018


A Legends of Asgard staple I am looting from our database for my own cruel purposes.


Imagine a crow - your standard crow, we don't need to get fancy. Now, picture it the size of a dog. You got it? Not the thing you wanna find in the woods while alone, is it?

Great. Remove the feathers and skin from the skull, thickening the skull a bit; liberally apply mange and open sores across the whole of it. Don't forget parasites. There we are.

I suppose "vulture sized crow" would have saved us all time.

These bastards have the intelligence and a penchant for stealing things of normal crows, combined with a cruel intention and a desire to ruin your day. Typically found in groups (a premeditation) of 2+1d4 among the tree tops of the spookier forests, waiting for the opportunity to prey on an inconvenienced traveler. They smell of moist, rotting meat. They taste of skin flakes, old dust, and parasites. They feel as you would expect. Their cry is a cross between a 'caw' and solid anxiety ground into a powder.

2 HD
Armor: Touch 

   * If It Ain't Nailed Down - On a successful attack, instead of applying damage the Gorcrow snatches one randomly rolled item not with in the target's pack. It then proceeds to fly off with it, probably back to a nest (...gornest?). 
   * Cannonball! - Should no one have items outside their pack, or sometimes as an opening move, a gorcrow will drop from the sky, diving down directly into a target. Said target gets a Save vs Falling on their ass, spilling the contents of their pack in the process. These newly exposed items are prime targets for the other gorcrows. 

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Gran' Paw, what's a dragon?

"Dragon?" Who done taught you that word, y' dang Turnip Head? Let me guess, they also done told you they was a form of thunder lizard, sorted based on the color of their scales. Well. they were right, to a point, but they were also egregiously wrong. Dragons, or a dreki as my grand-sire's grand-sire called 'em, are large and lizard like, but they ain't born that way, nor are their temperament a consequence of their scale coloring, y' kin?

See, they don't start out as no egg, but rather a man, kin to the likes of you or me. Now, we all gots our vices, true enough, but them there dreki-kin (see it was a consonant gradati--oh, shoot, nevermind, you ain't got the head for wording, Turnip), when they was man, loved their vices. Took to 'em more than was healthy like. Imagine them pinnacle of virtue's the preacher man's always telling y' about, then apply 'em to the vices he warns you against. Thems were they folk.

Lowest of the low, y' kin? You ain't gonna be finding the average, or even above average, hooch- nor whore-monger shrugging outta their skins and leaving what few villages we have for the seclusion of the hills.

Now, for whichever reason - I ain't the preacher, ask him - these folks became altered by their chosen evil. Corrupted. Twisted. And depending on the vice sacked up inside 'em, that's what led to the style of dragon. From there, their coloration is dependent upon the environment that they take to holdin' up in, and the diet they take to there. Much like those one legged birds down on the southron shores.

Now, here's what we've got to knowing about each of the sorts, based on a codex I seen in the city a long spell ago. They all take to having a fairly similar shape: monitor lizards heightened to draft horse stature, with the skin of a gator. Though, the older they get the bigger they get, mind y', and I've heard tell truly old ones bear wings, but, honestly, that sounds made up. Their claws do damage as though a Standard Weapon, their bite tends to be equal to a Great Weapon.

Yeah, that's the one.

Most of these tend to be one form of avarice or another, but preacher man swears they're different:

Magics a talent, and with so few of us left, a very few are able to master it. Like boat building, for them shipwrights of old, 'fore they all were called back to the old world. Understandibly, there are them that covet the ability for magicfying when they lack it. The worst of 'em take to hoarding any and all petty magics - scrolls, grimoirs, and like. Major magics too, don't rule them out. They can't use 'em, but boy do they like looking at 'em.

When the Vice finally takes them, they're known to be able to smell magic - from the spells in a magician's head, to the fetishes carried by a wizard. Their very breath is said to cause Maleficence upon them caught within it.

8 HD
Armor: Chain 
   * Smell Magic - The dragon can smell magic upon a creature, or within a place, out to 50'
   * Chaotic Breath - target must Save vs Breath, else roll upon the Maleficence table, suffering the effects
   * Steal Spell - Any castin' sort that comes in physical contact with the beast looses a portion of their magics. Whether it be a prepared spell, free slot, some magic points, or whichever your system hankers to, they're gone until refreshed as normal. 

Thems the ones for hording gold and other material wealth. We all needs a bit of coin now and again, but there are them that are never happy and crave it more than anything. Some even take to killing for it. It's that final murder that tends to do it. Either way, given their propensity to lounge upon their amassed wealth - better to guard, y' kin - their skin tends to stick with gems and coins. Makes them a bit harder to hurt. No doubt they can smell items of value on y'.

8 HD
Armor: Chain + 1
   * Smell Riches - The dragon can smell items of significant value (50+ of money standard) within 50'. The more expensive it is, the better it smells. 
   *  Increasing Hoard - Once per 1d4 rounds, when within 50' of the beast, a random item from the party vanishes from their possession and appears in the collected hoard 

These are the ones that tend to ravage the country side, consuming everything they come across: livestock, trees, houses, coal piles, and so on. The land around their lairs tends to be stripped and left barren. Their lairs themselves are little more than shafts of consumed earth, serving as den and midden. Following 'em, should you have the strange notion, is fairly easy t'do as their swollen bellies drag along, leaving a track.

Armor: Chain
   * Rending Bite - Any bite attack made by the dragon that is blocked by armor, but still touches the target, does half damage to the target's armor instead. Armor damaged in this way has a lower AC rating until repaired. Should the AC drop to touch value, the armor is destroyed.
   * I've Eaten Worse - Anything that finds it's way into the dragon's mouth does no further damage to the beast. Poison, fire, pointy bits; all are consumable to it. 
   * Vomit - The beast can expel the contents of it's stomach, burning anyone caught within the deluge as if acid. 

Thems be the ones kidnapin' all those princesses in the stories. Y' see, when a man and a woman...that is t'say, you're at the age where you'll, I had to tell your pap 'bout your age, it's his turn to tell you. Pester him for this one.

Armor: Chain
   * Pleasure or Pain - As the sublimating azure breath washes over the target, the target is given a choice. Either take the damage to HP or accept the effects of Hold Person (no save). 
   * Obsession  - The spit of the beast is laced with a powerful chemical that makes any touched by it feel an uncontrollable longing for their greatest desire. If'n they don't have one, one may be provided for them. 

Them there one that take to riddling and yammering on 'cause they thing they're better'n you? Thems the pride ones. They're magnificent and they'll make sure you know it. Their scales are shinier, their voices are a rich alto/bass.

Armor: Chain
   * No Higher Power - The beast is so devoid of humility that any, and all, divinely inspired abilities cease working within their presence.   
   * Pride Prevents the Fall - Any compliment paid to the beast - and it'll fish for 'em - will be "stored" and act as a shield, being sacrificed to prevent damage taken from a future attack. 

More of the "acedia" sort, than the "lazy" sort. These are the ones that take to brooding in solitude. Doesn't sound much harm, sure, but they do it to the point where it gets to infecting the very land itself. Green, healthy forests turn to black, dying woods forever choked in an unmoving fog. Sparrows leave, replaced by overlarge bats. Gloom. Doom. You're gettin' the picture.

Armor: Leather
   * Invasive Thoughts - Anyone the dragon is aware of tends to be plagued by invasive thoughts of failure, unable to act. All affected by these thoughts must save versus Magic every round. Those that fail will attempt to harm themselves to the best of their abilities. Poisons, cliffs, nooses; anything convenient. Probably most convient'll be the very weapons they're holding, autohitting themselves. All affected characters (still standing) must save successfully for the Thoughts to end. 
   * Slowing Touch - Anyone struck by the dragon must save vs Paralyze, or suffer a level of encumbrance and the effects that come with it. Effect lasts until a long rest.  

Thems the sort that go around breathing fire on everything. Theirs eyes literally burn with hatred, glowing as embers. Smoke constantly billows from their nostrils, and their scales are scorched, covered in soot and melted metal. You'll feel their heat long before you ever see 'em. Should you ever find a cave glowing with heat and surrounded by scorched earth, you'll probably be wanting to leave, as it'll most like be a den of wrath.

Armor: Plate + 1
   * Fire Proof - As living furnaces, they ain't inclined to be burned themselves.
   * Torrent of Flame - If'n you hear 'em start to suck in a deep breath, you'll be wanting to get out from in front of them, as they're about to breath out a 40' worth of flame. Not just normal flame, mind you. It's hot. Damn hot. Any one dumb enough to be caught in it while in metal armor will be burnt the next 1d4 rounds for 1d6 each.
   * Blind Anger - For whichever reason, should the beast's Intelligence be damaged (spell or what not), it's Constitution increases by that much damage. Should it's Wisdom be affected, it's Strength is adjusted. 

So why slay these creatures?

Because it's doin' a kindness to the poor souls trapped within, Turnip Head. Also, there's some that take to the fame and glory of it. And the loot. There's also a rumor that cooking and eating the heart will get y' strange knowings and doings. It's probably true.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Because people won't stop talking about it

1d8 hooks involving the reason people will suddenly think it's a good idea to stare at the sun. 

  1. The village fool has burned out their retinas by staring at the eclipse. He was given a "magical" pair of glasses by a local wizard, and was told he could view the celestial event safely. Turns out is was just a pair of smoked glass. If confronted, the wizard finds this hilarious and congratulates himself for the wonderful joke. He refuses to return the money, or fix the situation. 
  2. My man who has successfully hidden his lycanthropy for several years is sent berserk and super empowered during the eclipse. He's probably in town when this happens. 
  3. A strange and peculiar plant is found in the forest, and replanted by the town herbalist, who later sells clippings. This plant, and the clippings, are sentient, carnivorous, and evil; all facts the herbalist was trying to keep secret. 
  4. The ancient snake god has returned to the world and is LITERALLY eating the sun. Good luck with that one. 
  5. The celestial event interferes with a wizard's summon ritual. The wizard had no knowledge of the eclipse, but now things from beyond the collected realities are spilling forth from the portal in the sky. 
  6. Turns out the town is cursed! Due to some Incident in the past, the town only appears in this reality during the eclipse, before disappearing again, along with everything in it. "But eclipses don't last that long!" Really? You'll accept magic, but not the fact the moon is just a little more lazy and takes just a little longer to get across the sky?
  7. The eldritch light of the eclipse reveals several of the town's people to be lizardmen in disguise, including at least 1d4 town officials. What do they want? How do the heroes stop them? Maybe the Sasquatch in the nearby forest can help.
  8. A wizard's unattended telescope has accidently focused and entrapped some eclipse light in a bottle. The wizard knows nothing of this, having been drunk for sometime. Since then, the country side has had the same dream, night after night: a voice demanding the return of the starchild and a nightly count down. Last night '1 cycle' remained. What happens at zero? Who is coming? Doom and Starmen, I bet.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Magic and Sanity

Sanity Based Magicking 

The following system assumes the usage of Item Quality, that being a dice value assigned to a consumable item, which is tested on usage. Given a roll of 1-3, the quality lessens to the next step down, thus representing the entropy of the item. For reference the steps are d20>d12>d10>d8>d6>d4. I wish there was a step between d12 and d20, but there ain’t and it's the best I got. Maybe one day the special DCC dice. Maybe. But not yet.

Either way, magic users get a new item: Sanity. The item doesn't take up an inventory slot and can't be traded in a mundane manner. Usually. It can sure as hell degrade, though. The item starts at a quality of d20, and most people you meet should be assumed to be at this rating.

Magic, the way the class reckons, works based in the way the user assumes, and is a reflection of what the user thinks is able to be true. The more your cast, the more you're able to believe is true. However, this thinking isn't natural and is therefore a stress on one’s mentality, occasionally giving way to breaking and insanity. Though, it also “gifts” greater power. Mechanically, this translates to a Wisdom penalty but access to higher level spells.

Highest Spell Level
Wisdom Mod
Most people are at this rating normally
Wizard Sight is constant this level and below

Further, a decrease in sanity is outwardly manifested through delusions. At creation, generate five of them and list them somewhere. The first should be something small - a minor phobia, perhaps. The final should be substainial, a held paradoxical truth about reality possibly. “Fire is actually cold, it is the cold that burns” or some such nonsense. When your sanity first deteriorates, take the first Delusion. When again, take the next. Should your sanity heal, lose the Delusions in a “last in, first out” manner.

As suggested, unlike most items, sanity can repair itself naturally, at a rate of 1 ‘side’ per week of no magic usage; meaning between d4 and d6 takes two weeks, and d12 to d20 takes eight weeks. If locked in an asylum, let's go ahead and say 4 sides per week. Most magic users sit at d12 because of this, giving the stereotype that magicians are weird some truth. Other ways of repair include potions and/or trading. Or outright theft.

Learning Spells
No change from the system your using, I imagine. Save that you can learn any level of spell at any time; just can't access it until the Sanity level is met.

Casting Spells
Casting magic on the system is fairly straight forward: declare the spell you're working, then make an Intelligence check based on your Intelligence attribute modified by the spell level (add if roll over, subtract if roll under). Should you pass, the spell functions. Should you fail, make a Sanity check to see what form the corrupted magic takes. The tables listed suggest a roll under; just flip the numbers if using roll over.
Roll Failure Effect
20 Corruption + Major
19-11 Major
10-5 Standard
4 Minor
3-1 Success (but with meaningless quirk)

Yep, that's right. Still a chance to succeed even if you fail. The chance becomes more probable as you get more crazy

So what happens when you lose Sanity completely?
Ah, yes, that's the question, isn't it? Well, obviously, your insane. You're basically a witless animal with a head full of confusing arcane knowledge, possibly scared, certainly confused, and every spell you cast does so successfully. In short: hand your character sheet to the GM and hope folks can subdue you peacefully. And find a reputable asylum. Maybe it can be fixed, maybe it can't.

You mentioned trading?
I did. Through a complicated ritual, with expensive reagents, the magic user can ‘distill’ another's Sanity out of their body, into a physical representation. The magician can then ingest this item and, after acclimating to the new Sanity, vomit forth their old Sanity to be placed in the original subject. Or not. May you leave them insane. Should the spare Sanity not be ingested within its Quality die worth of hours, it will evaporate into the aether.

Should you want to repair your old Sanity, simply place it into the original target and let them rest for the time period. Yes, this does imply professional lunatics. Though, your own Sanity just feels better. Like wearing old pants.

What about the potions?
Think of them like Pickled Sanity, operating like the trading above, but without vomiting the old one up. It just is that one now.

What about the rest of the class?
What about it? This is largely replacing the "Spells per Day" portion of the class. Everything else should function normally. Unless it doesn't. Then I'll give a refund, if you still have your receipt.

Why would anyone want to play this?
Hell if I know. Though I, myself, enjoy the gambling sort of classes on occasion. Big risk, big reward. Gonna have to sucker someone in to play testing this. And shoot, if'n it doesn't work, maybe it'll at least give someone some idea for something else.