Secret Jackalope 2022
I signed up for the Secret Jackalope over on the OSR discord server this year, and was paired up with Azaz from RPG Toolbox, who wanted "A village secrets table -- who hates whom, who's sleeping with someone's wife etc". So, below is just that, a table of secrets. And, because they've been (I assume) very good this financial quarter, I've also thrown in rumors. Ho Ho Ha.
Village Secrets and Rumors
- Mrs Thelch once described Mme Aelfwear's honeycomb biscuits as "Fine. Maybe a little dry?" while at a harvest festival, in front of everyone. Madam Aelfwear has sworn a blood oath of revenge.
- There's much speculation behind the arcane symbols that appear in the wheat fields from time to time: from their meaning to their sources. Truth be told, it's just the Gerrenth brothers, youths of 15, sneaking out at night and pressing shapes into the fields.
- Reverend Father Rickbranch, in the light of day, is a devote subject of the local, well loved good aligned deity. By the light of the moon, however, he willingly serves Katheres, the Black Goat with One Thousand Eyes, the Chewer of the Cud That Will Flood the World, Bleater of the Final Song.
- Ichabod Slatewater served in the King's War in his youth. He doesn't speak about his service, or the strange spider idol he brought back and has kept hidden all these years. He doesn't speak about it, but he does speak to it.
- Magrit Saurglem, the elderly midwife who has served the village for decades, remembers each and every one of the townsfolk who were born with tails.
- The Duskhorn family were once a proud witch hunters, who retired after a large and successful local campaign. There were, of course, no witches and the family was just blaming innocent people to buy up the confiscated farmland for cheap.
- Mr and Mrs Coldforge have been the ones leaving baskets of food and supplies on the doorsteps of their less fortunate neighbors at night.
- Mr and Mrs Coldforge have been the ones murdering vagrants on nights of the full moon.
- The Gerrenth brothers were seen stumbling the roads drunk, near the Duskhorn farms, the night Reverend Father Rickbranch is said to have reported terrible nightmares.
- The mines just outside of town are said to be haunted by the ghosts of the miners who's lives were lost deep within the earth after a cave in. This is a lie. One that was started by a local social group, so they could set up a place to hide from their spouses for a bit.
- Douglas Fir, the tavern keeper, has been watering down his ale's for years. The bastard.
- Most of the stray cats in the town disappeared right around the time when the "strange" family moved in. Nothing happened to them, all the cats are fine and safe, and they all finally carried out their long planned relocation to the Dream City of Ur. The timing was just really coincidental.
- Mr. Mathers is sleeping with Mrs. Weathers. And Mr. Weathers. Mrs. Mathers is also sleeping with both of the Weatherses. None of the spouses knows of their own spouses "rendezvous."
- Rumor has it that there's a trove of silver buried in a fake grave within the village cemetery. This is nonsense. It's electrum.
- Some will tell you "the owls are not what they seem." This is false, they are exactly what they seem: haughty assholes with nocturnal divination abilities.
- The crops only grow because the Coldforges remember what Vazell, Goddess of the Bloody Fields demands.
- The town's water supply tastes rather funny, and not for the high sulfur content of the ground as an "expert" suggest. Rather, the BIG STOMPa and his goblins have moved into the town well. The expert knows this, but he's just 3 goblins in a jerkin.
- If you give a special knock on the back door of the Apothecary shop, they'll sell you a recreational tincture. It's brewed from the Cud of Katheres.
- The Duskhorn family, famous witch hunters, have all been witches for several years now. Who have they been hunting? Not witches.
- Most of the recent vagrants lately, have been werewolves, summoned there by Madam Aelfwear.
Octopus Wrestling
Way off yonder ways, down on the coast, lies a stretch of beach surrounded by cliffs - once mountains in their own right, noble and strong, their secrets now layed exposed by the same water they hold back, forever assaulted in six hour increments as the waters are driven by their cruel lunar mistress. Betwixt a few of these here cliffs industrious hands have taken to forming an artificial tide pool out of the smooth stones and ancient whale bones liberated from their geological prison by the ocean.
Should the PC folk arrive around High Tide, they’ll find a figure sitting happily upon the boulder that overlooks the tide pool, as though a Lord reclining and gazing upon their domain and knowing to be Right. Any meger attempt at investigation soon reveals the figure to be a man of middling height and of ending years. Adorned in only canvas britches sheared off at the thigh, the man’s skin is tanned and hardened by decades of sunburn, his hair bleached and burnt by the sun and age, his teeth are forgotten by his lips like the words to so many songs. His eyes, however, will sparkle with a passion. He’ll give his name simply as “Dale.” (L4, Geriatric Berserker)
Should the PC folk arrive at Low Tide, Dale will probably be making margaritas and cooking seafood in his rustic shack, just off to the left.
Dale is Friendly enough, and will gladly trade and share what he has, though it ain’t much. The occasional story and company is really all he lacks at present.
If pressed about his backstory he’ll share. It ain’t a terribly happy one, but he’ll share. Perhaps he was a soldier in a horrific war. Perhaps it is a story of love and loss. Perhaps it involves a family and a plague. It truly matters not. For you see, Dale has forsaken any old life he may have had, or any customs and traditions he may have once kept. Nowadays, the only meaning and joy he manages to strangle out of his existence is engaging in the True Sport of Kings:
Octopus Wrestling
Once High Tide makes its way here around, and the tide pool gets good and deep, old Dale will scurry like a man forty years his junior to the top of the predominant boulder. He’ll sit and center himself for a moment, collecting his thoughts, gazing upon the pool. When the time is right (he’ll know it), the melanomatic man will produce an unassuming flute and, in the direct, boiling sun, he’ll begin to play a haunting tune.
A tune that reminds of the cold, frigid depths. Of alien landscapes dotted with coral. Of inhuman thoughts and cruel desires. Of ancient shores illuminated by no known star. Of favors owed and debts to be repaid. Of vengeance due.
The tune will then drift to silence and soon a pair of cephalopod eyes will appear peeking from the waterline, the water around them bubbling angrily. Dale will slide from his rock into the water, and begin for foam violently from the mouth as the Rage overtakes him.
An overreaction? Well, I imagine you’re picturing one of those run of the mill, 22 pounds and 4 foot long things. What you’ve got here are the 150 pound bastards, reaching up to 20 feet. Real big, and real ornery. And real psionic. We’ll get to that.
The first round goes to Dale. Or, hell, maybe it doesn’t. Either way, should the PCs be up for a little friendly wager, old Dale will be up for a good old wrassle. Winner learns the summoning song (requires a flute to play).
What Dale Don’t Know
- will probably kill him. You see, the octopus are plotting an invasion of the surface world. They don’t know much about it, other than Dale is there. They hate him. Him and that damn song. Well, actually, they love the song, almost too much. They can’t resist it and Dale’s constant summoning is cutting into their plans.
They also don’t realise Dale isn’t an oddity of the surface. After all, why would there be mermen AND landmen? That’s just silly. Whenever a PC interacts with an octopus via wrestling, have them Save vs Mind Scan - failure means the psionic cephalopod has copied a template into the collective consciousness and it will be implanted into the mermen serving as mindless thralls and servants. They currently have “Berserker” from Dale.
Add groups of floating octopi and the merman thralls to the random encounters in the wilderness. Should Dale fall due to octopus fight or general murderhoboing, double their appearance, as no one is holding them back anymore.
Stats
Dire Octopus
Squiggly brain bastards with eight arms
HD 3
AC as leather Atk bite/crush 1d6
Save 8 Intelligence 20
Special
Psionics - see below
Grappler - +1 to Grappling combat maneuvers for every tentacle involved.
Merman Thrall
More Kevin Costner’s “the Mariner” than some half man/half fish manatee based thing, that have been bred to be mentally weak and subservient.
HD 1
AC as leather+1 Atk spear 1d6
Save 6 Intelligence 10 Morale 8
Special
Blank Slate - May hold/use one template of Octopus master’s choosing from the collective consciousness
Psionics
You’re probably running psionics in a certain manner, if you’re running them at all. Well, that certainly doesn’t matter - octopi have a decentralized nervous system, so they use it differently than centralized brain folk. To them it comes as easy and naturally as thinking; they just do it. No dice hassling, however it is their action for the round.
Octopus have one ability, in addition to their floating and telepathy, chosen from below:
Fold Space - Instantly teleport 64 feet in any direction. Host’s eyes permanently glow blue.
Life Leech - Host is able to drain 1d4 HP from a grappled target and restore their own by the same amount. Host with this ability appears sickly pale.
Mind Blast - A psychic ranged attack that deals damage as a light melee weapon. Hosts of this ability have crystalline growths on their head sacs.
Mind over Matter - Gain damage reduction 2, and strikes with tentacles do damage to equipment struck as well. Host
Remote Viewing - By concentrating on a target they’ve encountered or have a personal item from, the host is able to scry on the target. Host has dull, milky eyes.
Sense Mind - Host is able to perfectly locate intelligent minds within 64 feet. Host has an inflated or swollen head sac.
Will Sap - By grappling a target for a round, the host forces to make a Save vs Mental or lose 1 point of Conviction.
Wither - A grappled target takes 1d8 of Inventory damage, filling up empty slots until a short rest. Host has stringy, barbed tentacles.
Martial Artist
Everyone's got their own Monk class; this one is mine.
I've been toying with using different parts of the character sheet for different purposes, other than what they were intended for. It's all been theoretical, but this one seems to have legs, and uses Inventory slots to augment abilities. There was also a Ghost who used their Legendarium to attack; but this ain't that.
While I know there is some difference between them, I'm gonna be using "style" and "school" interchangeably. Because I keep forgetting. I am very tired.
Martial Artist
B. +2 Moves
C. +2 Moves
D. +2 Moves
Fighting Styles and Moves
You're a fightman from fightland. Through training you've learned a fighting type and a couple of moves from the school. Select a school (listed below) and gain access to that list of Moves. You start with the ability to learn (from a teacher or manual) the first 6 Moves, and gain access to the rest of the list the more you master your school (take templates), as listed here:
- Template A - First 6 Moves
- Template B - First 8 Moves
- Template C - First 10 Moves
- Template D - All 12 Moves
New Item: Fight Moves
Should probably rename this to something cooler. Maneuvers? Yeah, probably should. I won't, but should. Either way, this technically ain't an item, but as each Move requires a certain amount of flexibility, each one takes up an amount of inventory spaces, noted as the cost. With moves equipped, any Inventory Slot usage that would cause Encumbrance would first take up a slot reserved by the Move, thus unequipping the Move.
While each Move pertains to a certain style, they can be learned by anyone willing to take the time to learn them. Martial Artists, however, receive a discount of 1 per template to the cost of the move, to a minimum cost of 1. Moves within the original style receive and additional 1 discount. Anyone can learn, but Martial Artists get them for super cheap.
Switching out moves from your inventory is a simple matter of performing a routine of exercises in the early morning. Much like the wizard nerds prep their spells.
If the Move mentions a Target, it is an attack and is resolved normally, with the effect of the Move replacing damage. It can be performed up to Templates time per scene, unless otherwise noted.
Costs are based on a 20 slot inventory standard. If you're using a system based off a stat, adjust the numbers a bit. If you're going off weight...I don't know what to tell you. Multiply by 10lbs, maybe?
The numbers are janked and "seemed right at the time." Play testing is likely to prove otherwise, but the idea is there and usable.
Abbreviations Used
[Cost] - Base cost, before discounts are applied.
[Add] - Additional slots voluntarily taken up past the cost. You may volunteer slots up to your level.
[Total] - Total slots taken up (cost + additional).
1. Name of the Move - Cost
Style: Earth and Heaven
While in this form, every time you're the target of a missile attack and reduce damage by [add]. If reduced to 0, you also catch the missile.
2. Throw the Ox-Cart - 9
3. Laughing Tiger - 12
Your unarmed attacks are increased to light melee. You can cut ropes and shit with your attacks, as your empty hands are considered weapons. For every 3 [add] your hands count as +1 weapons.
4. Wary Rabbit Attitude - 11
While in this form, you always succeed initiative checks. For 2 [add] while taking this form, you are also never surprised during an ambush.
5. Ascending Dragon Prana - 12
Attacked target is knocked prone. They must spend a turn to stand up. You heal [add] HP.
6. Constricting Snake - 11
You wrap your Target in an elongated object:, scarf, prayer beads, etc. The target is grappled for 1d6 rounds, but your hands remain free. If the victim spends a turn untangling themselves, they may attempt a Save to recover from this effect.
7. Runaway Horse, Crazy Kicking - 14
Target of [add] or less HD has a limb disabled by this attack. Disabled arms cannot wield weapons or carry shields. Each disabled leg gives a -6 penalty to the target's Movement.
8. Monkey Drunk on Fermented Peaches - 12
While in this form, you may move 5 feet per [add] as a free action during your turn. When you suffer effects that would move you, you may choose which direction you move. Lastly, you may rise from prone as a free action.
9. Rooster's Crow Brings the Dawn - 9
The target is knocked prone. They must spend a turn to stand up. You immediately learn the target's total and current HP. You immediately have a sense of what templates the target has. If the target has Martial Artist templates, you learn what school they are in.
For 3 [add] you also learn any resistances and vulnerabilities the target might possess.
10. Dog Whipping Stick - 8
Target's breath is knocked out of them. They cannot speak and suffer a penalty to Attack and Defense equal to [add]. If the victim spends a turn resting, they may attempt a Save to recover from this effect.
11. Stubborn Boar's Defense - 15
You gain damage resistance equal to [add]
You deal [total] damage to the target, who begins bleeding. For [add] rounds, the target suffers a 2d4 damage at the beginning of their turn. If the victim spends a turn resting, they may attempt a Save to recover from this effect.
Witch Hunting Duck
It's too late.
The witch hunters are in town and have your scent.
I'm so sorry.
It's too late.
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| Look out! |
Witch Hunting Duck
Starting Equipment: Tiny trench coat, tiny hat, tiny Witch Hunter badge
Starting Skills: 1) Diving 2) Puddling 3) Hunting
+1 HP per template.
A. Duck, Sense MagicB. Witch Hunter
C. Iron Quack
D. Magic Immunity
Duck
You are a duck, and all that that implies.
Sense Magic
You have a template-in-6 chance of detecting magic as a skill.
Witch Hunter
Your bite does an additional 1d6 to magic users.
Iron Quack
Your quacking carries the quality of iron, disrupting magic within range of hearing.
Magic Immunity
As a hunter of magic, you've grown immune to all forms. Including helpful.
1d78 Imp Names
d66 Books to Find in a Dungeon
Why not?
Titles and subtitles are in bold, descriptions (if applicable) are not.
