They, however, will not have what you want. For, truly, few have in stock what items of rarity that Maurice and the Ugly Kid carry.
To find Maurice and the Ugly Kid is simple enough, just pass a Knowledge (Local) check of appropriate DC to follow up with locals on rumors of their presence within the city. If they're within the city, you're sources can usually give you an approximate set of directions. They will always lead to a back alley. Opening bargaining processes, is also fairly simple, just give the Ugly Kid a sweet roll.
Allow me to explain. In following the set of directions to the designated alley, one will find a lone boy, with unfortunate features playing with a small kitten. Should one place a sweet roll within the bowl next to the hideous child, the pitiful thing will eagerly feed upon it, usually in a manner best not watched. Just...just awful. The kitten, in turn, will chirp happily, and run off. Moments later, an older man, with a lot of rough recent years, will appear. This, presumably, is Maurice. He'll dote on the Ugly Kid for a moment, then unlock the sealed door on the stoop the Kid and kitten were playing on. Afterward, he'll be more than happy to take your gold for what ever items you find inside. Stealing is not advisable.
However, if instead of sweet roll, you offer the Ugly Kid violence, say in a moment of kindness to end the string of unfortunate circumstances that will surly be the Ugly Kid's life, the kitten will attack using a full array of "intending to fuck your shit up" sorcerer stats.
And, ultimately that is what the Ugly Kid's life will be, a series of unfortunate events, followed by death. Let's take how he met the kitten as an example:
Three years ago - maybe longer, maybe sooner - the Ugly Kid lived happily with his parents in a Wagonfolk caravan. Still horrendously ugly, mind you, just happy as well.
In their travels, near the warm Marshes of Jhurmi, the caravan came across a kitten; lost, alone, motherless, and pierced with a bolt made from the local holy wood. Despite cats being bad luck and considered unclean, the Ugly Kid took it in, and cared for it in secret. Surprisingly, the thing survived, and for a while, the Ugly Kid was happier. Finally, he had a true friend that lacked a conceptual understanding of beauty.
Then, the murders started.
First it was single people, caught unawares and alone in the night. Wolves were blamed, signs of protection were crossed, and with heavy hearts the people continued. Then, wagons were broken into and entire families were slaughtered. On more than one occasion screams echoed into the night, as families cowered, too scared to intervene and all to thankful it was not them. The Wagonfolk claimed the land they traveled in was cursed, and attempted to outrun their misfortune, but, sure enough, the murders followed them.
After a rather troubling night, the father of the Ugly Kid found the kitten, it's mouth stained red and the strong smell of copper upon it's breath. Cursing the beast, the Ugly man struck the kitten with his weighted walking stick and kicked the limp body as far away from the caravan as he could. Once more giving hand signs of protection to the road behind them, the wagons rolled on. That night, there was peace. And once more the next night. On the third day, the kitten returned. Having been brokenhearted at the lost of his first and only friend, the Ugly Kid eagerly welcomed the feline back in secret, even going so far as to steal the last of the milk rations for it to sup upon.
That night, the father and mother were slain in silence. to be found cold and still come morning. Whispers and rumors spread through the skeletal remains of the caravan. Why had the Ugly Kid been spared, when so many entire families had not? Was it the child performing the killings? Perhaps a demon the child conjured? The Ugly Kid's look was obviously from consorting with demons, it was clear now. And with that, the boy and wagon were abandoned.
For four nights the Ugly Kid wept. For four nights the kitten attempted to cheer the child up. Games of fetch, cute tricks, general kitten tactics for attention. None would cheer the Ugly Kid up. So, on the fifth day, tired of the Ugly Kid's sniveling, and out of ideas on how to stop it, the kitten revealed itself truly to the child. Taking the form of an older man, with a rough recent years, the Kitten told the child that he was the Ugly Kid's guardian angel, sent to protect him from the evil that plagued the caravan. But, now with the moving on of the caravan, so too was the evil gone. From here on out, the Kitten would take care of the Ugly Kid.
This, is perhaps not the strictest of truths.
Rakshasas are not known as "protectors" or "care givers." In truth, the Kitten - now calling himself "Maurice" - eventually intends to consume the Ugly Kid. Perhaps even hunt him for sport. At the moment, though, he enjoys doting on the Ugly Kid and operates a black market supply to fund himself.
A sampling of the inventory:
- A mummified elf hand - The hand will grant any wish (albeit with scornful consequences) to the owner. When the wish is granted, a finger curls down into a fist, showing how many wishes are left. Upon finding the hand, it still holds 1d5 charges and smells slightly of barbecue sauce. Once completely a fist, the hand loses all magic.
- A glass jar full of rust monster antennae squeezings.
- A sarangi that only plays sad songs.
- Memories of a random event (1d8 to be useful in someway)
- A flower whose blooms whisper forgotten knowledge in the moon light, but must be watered in blood.
- Agile Ghost Touch Brass Knuckles - for punching ghosts in the face
- Fairy in a bottle - A foul mouth fairy trapped in a corked bottle. Smashing the bottle kills it. Shaking the bottle and biting the head off restores 2d8 of health.
- Keif
- Wand of Summon Goblin - Note: these goblins will be completely confused as to what just happened
- Mask of the Luchador - Gives bonuses to combat actions related to wrestling maneuvers. Once worn, it loses power if removed. The character also enters a disabled related state.
- A kobold skull with the word "Anguish" artistically carved on the side.
- Cleric hide gloves - Allows for use of artifacts aligned to leather source.
- Soup Stone - Once per day, when submerged in still water, will generate enough soup to feed four people
- Shadow Staff - Made from the same material as a shadow. Impossible to pick up. It is a shadow. Destroyed by a bright light source.
- An intelligent weapon that has recently converted religions, and REALLY wants to tell the adventurer about it, even attempt to convert them as well.
Should it come up, for some strange reason, the Ugly Kid's charisma (or related attribute) can never move about the bare minimum (ie. 3 for d20). Poor, poor Ugly Kid.
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