Additional Bug Catcher bugs

Currently running what was suppose to be a one shot in the GLOG system. The dinner part continues ever on, however, and the one shot has turned into a two-parter. One of the players is running Bug Catcher and, due to the situations they find themselves, will need to restock their bugs soon, though the example ecosystems don't match where they find themselves. So, more of 'em:

>>Bugs are insects, spiders, snails, slugs, and limbless worms of all types.
I'm also counting crabs in this, because why not?

EDIT: Apparently, there was a desert ecosystem already written.  As such, I've renamed the ecosystem. Also, after some goodly peer review, I've made a few changes. 

Ecosystem: Red Desert Waste in That One Spot, On That One Guy's Island
  1. Camel Grub - A bloated grub about the size of a small shoe. Surprisingly full of water - really just more than it should have. 1d4 pints worth, in fact. Enough to extinguish a touch, or fill a water skin. The water is clean and refreshing, with no ill effects gained from drinking straight from the bug.
  2. Knock-Knock Butcher Boy - A green and bronze schemed pill bug, that smells slightly of ethanol. When placed into the keyhole of a lock, it'll immediately get to work trying to pick it. Should it successfully pick the lock, it will crawl proudly back into its container, and is usable an additional time that day. Should it fail to pick the lock, it will explode in anger, doing enough damn to destroy the lock, allowing what it was protecting to be accessed. Bug begins with 1d4 skill points in Lockpick, and loses one for each successful attempt. 
  3. Cactus Dancer - Lithe, needle legged spider that has learned the secrets of acupuncture from the cactus spines it dances across. Save vs Stun for 1d4 rounds. 
  4. Corpse Crier Worm - A thin, pale worm that, when placed into the ear of a corpse, will burrow in, stimulating not yet rotten neurons. Allows for 1d6 minutes of Speak With Dead before the brain bits become too eaten to continue. 
  5. D'nith Dust Devil - A trembling little thing with the ability to burst when frightened as a, presumably, evolutionary defense mechanism. Creates a 20' cloud of sand, thick enough to hinder vision to anyone inside, or trying to see through, the cloud. Anyone caught within the area suddenly finds themselves trying to breath sand. Save vs Suffocation, or spend a round chocking and coughing. Easiest way to frighten the thing is to throw it. 
  6. Missile Hornet - A blue and black schemed hornet, with an ethereal glow. By shaking the capture phial vigorously, then uncorking and pointing towards a target, the hornet will strike out in pure hornet anger. It attacks over multiple rounds for 1d8, 1d6, 1d4 and finally 1 point of damage. The target may circumvent these attacks by spending a round to crush the thing, doing 1 point of damage to itself in the process. 
  7. Scorpion - Just a normal scorpion. You ever have one of these thrown at you? Good Lord. Target makes a save vs Fumble, or lose everything they're currently holding as they freak out. 
  8. Skillapede - A foot long centipede looking monstrosity​, with legs nearly the same length as its central body. When applied along the user's spine, the skillapede burrows its various appendages into the flesh. Its legs wrap around the nervous system, the fangs pierce the base of the skull. Why use this horrific thing? Because somewhere along the way someone, somehow, figured out the bug Bestows increased skill ability. Add 1d4 of a following skill, rolled when finding the bug (1. Carpentry, 2. Advanced Mathematics, 3. Metal Working, 4. Herbalism, 5. Alchemy, 6. Theoretical Biology) 
  9. Apocalocus - A black and red locus with far too many barbs. When placed or thrown on an object of relative organic status, it will devour that item entirely, before collapsing into a food coma. Wooden door, worn leather jerkin, coal golem. Living creatures have enough sense to move away it as it starts biting, so it lacks in attack application (save for eating away the armor). 
  10. Grim Maggot - Actually an inch long caterpillar, bearing a skull pattern on its head and a Vantablack body. Upon being released from the jar, the Maggot will crawl exactly 10' before standing on its hind most legs an beginning a sobering dirge loud enough for anyone in the room to hear (50' if outside). The song functions as the Doom Song spell for 1d4 rounds. At the end of these rounds, the caterpillar's skin splits open, releasing a Grim Fly (1 HD) into the world. It is under no one's control, nor is the subsequent Reverent. 

Ecosystem: Beach
  1. Beach Comber - A tiny, palm sized crab with a knack for finding small, shiny objects. When released, it will scuttle off and return 2d6 rounds later, dragging a one-handed size object behind it. Once delivered, it will wander off, full of a sense of accomplishment from a job well done.
  2. Black Tea Slug - When squeezed and wrung out, this tar black slug produces enough Grease to cover a 10x10 area.
  3. Black  Musta Lentaa - Target must Save or not act that round as the fly's painful bites distract them. 
  4. Bunker Barnacle - Popping this barnacle in your mouth grants you immunity to weapons for 1d4 rounds, as your skin calcifies. It also, however, glues you in place, disallowing you to move or take any action other than muffled speech. 
  5. Eldritch Worm - Seems more tentacle than worm. By sliding this into your ear, and allowing it to crawl in completely, the Bug Catcher gains Wizard Vision for 24 hours. Strangely, it never comes back out. 
  6. St. Tollan's Hermit - Through sucking this poor, malformed crab from its shell and swallowing whole, the Bug catcher can merge with the next stone surface they touch. The stone must be larger than the User. While the Catcher can hear through the stone, they can not see, move or eat. They may stay merged for as long as they like, however any damage done to the stone, magic or otherwise, expels the Catcher, leaving them stunned for 1d6 rounds. 
  7. Fulgens Gemma Beetle - By squeezing this glittering beetle into your mouth, and swallowing the innards, the Bug catcher will vomit forth a Prismatic Ray in 1d4 rounds, for (level)d6 damage. 
  8. Naty Maton Fly - By uncorking the bottle this tiny, proboscis wielding fly is kept in and screaming "GO! NOW! GET 'EM! GET 'EM! BRING ME THEIR BLOOD SO THAT I MAY FEAST!"* said fly (0HD, 1HP, Def 6) is encouraged to launch out, making touch attacks on targets. Upon successful attack, the fly drains 1d4 HP and looses 2 defense, as it becomes slowed by the sweet red nectar. Upon screaming the command "TO ME! RETURN!"* and gesturing at your open mouth, the fly zips back, allowing you to swallow it, thus healing yourself for the same amount of damage done. (*The screaming is vital to the process. If the player refuses to scream, well, the fly wanders off doesn't it?)
  9. Wave Crasher Flea - When ingested, save or gain 2d4 points of Drunkenness. It is said the original waves were started from drunken whales vomiting. 
  10. Siren Slug - The Bug Catcher whispers to the slug, before releasing it. It then begins to make a high pitched "song." Anyone who can hear the Slug's song, must make a save or gain a Conviction (told to the slug in the initial whispers).


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Paladins


Lately I've taken to woodworking. I'm still getting the hang of it, learning the ropes and all that, but I'm enjoying it. It's a relaxing change to the typical "herp derp, neural network *type type type*" of my day. It lets my mind settle, run clean. Nearly zen like. And lately, as I've done this inner searching, I've realized one thing:

Fuck Paladins.




Seriously. Bunch of jerks named after a hill.

Everyone I've seen played has been merely a fighter that happened to get spells because they carried a holy symbol. Most showed more concern for their horses than, say, a beggar in need.

This can be fixed.

The main change I'm throwing around is that the paladin's spells aren't guaranteed. None of this "spells per day because I'm holding this holy symbol" nonsense. As a paladin, you are not the extension of your god's Will; that's the cleric's purpose. As a paladin, you are a Champion of the god. You must be seen carrying out their work, and proving your worth. You wanna wield divine power? Go feed the poor. Defend a peasant farm from bandits. Sacrifice yourself so your friends can escape. Gain the heart of the people and you'll gain the favor of your god.

In performing such tasks you'll earn Good Boy Points Points of Divine Favor. While an hour of prayer will give you access to all your spells for the day, you must have enough Divine Favor to cast them. Essentially, the "casting cost" of the spell is equal to the "level" of the spell. Looking to cast Bless? As a first level spell, that's one point cost. Commune? Five points. Part Water? Too bad, that's not really your thing, but you get the idea. A non-exhausted list of actions and their point rewards are below. As is your spell list.

Now, as said, gaining these spells requires an hour of prayer, usually taken in the morning. Casting them, however, is a quick action, in which the favor of your god is called upon, either through prayer or dedication. Casting in this way is fairly subtle and, save for some of the higher level spells, can be mistaken for skill or luck. Going for a Michael Carpenter vibe here, I won't lie.

Rewards and Associated Actions
1 point
  • Praying at Shrine
  • Donating items of minor value
2 point
  • Upholding a tenant of your god
  • Completing a Church Quest
  • Donating items of value
3 point
  • Defending a Holy Site important to your pantheon
  • Returning a Major Artifact to the church
  • Defending those weaker or in need
4 point
  • Completing a Holy Quest 
  • Sacrificing yourself for another in a significant manner
Again, not exhaustive, and should be tailored to suit the god in question. I image a Snake god and a Fire god have very different definitions of "good things."

Points do carry over from day-to-day, however any unused points diminish by two every week. The intent is you continue doing good deeds. There are ways to lose points, mind you. Ask your GM, or stab a beggar, to find out.

Fighting bits are left mostly the same. Proficiency in armor and weapons, skills (where appropriate), and others track mostly the same. To Hit bonus has been halved, to account for spell casting without an attribute attachment.

You'll notice the only healing spell/prayer in the spell list is Sacrifice. This is intentional.

The Brass Tacks 

HP: As Fighter
To Hit bonus: +1 every other level (half of Fighter)
Saves: As Cleric
Max Divine Favor pool: Character Level



Level
Hit Points
To Hit
Paralyze
Poison
Breath
Device
Magic
1
1d8
+1
14
11
16
12
15
2
+1d8

14
11
16
12
15
3
+1d8
+2
14
11
16
12
15
4
+1d8

14
11
16
12
15
5
+1d8
+3
12
9
14
10
12
6
+1d8

12
9
14
10
12
7
+1d8
+4
12
9
14
10
12
8
+1d8

12
9
14
10
12
9
+1d8
+5
10
7
12
8
12
10
+3

10
7
12
8
12

Spell List

Level 0
Detect Evil

Level 1
Bless (unable to target self)
Detect Magic
Protection from Evil
Remove Fear

Level 2
Delay Poison
Detect Invisible
Heroism
Resist Cold
Resist Fire

Level 3
Dispel Magic
Detect Illusion
Sacrifice

Level 4
Detect Life
Protection from Evil 10'
Turn Undead (at Level-4)

Level 5
Commune
Dispel Evil
True Seeing

Level 6
Anti-Magic Shell
Find the Path
Forbiddance
Tongues

Level 7
Holy Word
Spell Turning


Closing Thoughts
Balanced? Probably not. Divine favor pool could use some tweaking. I can see Bless getting out of hand as currently written. Level 4 could use some beefing out. I've become genuinely curious as to how this plays.
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BEES!

Someone has mentioned to me "its more important to just *put out content*, then worry about half-written blog posts." That seems unwholesome and unsatisfying to me, but, also, I haven't posted in an month or more. So, because of that, you folk get to deal with copy/paste from a document I've labelled simply "Bees." See if you can guess why.

Why bees? I like bees. They give me a substance I turn into booze.

Creatures

Bee Golem

Not actually a golem, per se, but it sounds cooler than "humanoid bee swarm." Well, now that I've repeated it several times, maybe not. Either way, when the hive is threatened the bees (save for the Queen and her retinue, as well as the workers not present) swarm out, taking the vague shape of a large humanoid filling a 10'x10' space with appropriate reach. While it appears fairly solid, due to the massive number of bees involved, any attack against it using traditional weaponry (swords, arrows) pass right through it.

Number wise, we're talking about 10,000 bees per "golem", meaning a healthy hive can host 2 to 6 of these things. Though, if during the day, most of the workers will be out working, so just one forming is reasonable. And probably better for players.

While it is immune to normal weapons, area effects auto hit and do 5,000 damage as that number of bees decide the current course of action might night be the best.  Significant smoke effects will disperse the golem within 1d4+2 rounds, as the alarm pheromones become masked causing the bees to think everything is safe.

The bee golem can attack in several fashions, none of them pleasant. First, a range attack where a group of bees are launched at a target, swarming and attacking as breath weapon. Second, a slam attack where the fists of the humanoid cloud smashes into the target, however, this attack also does the same amount of damage to the golem, as the bees squish themselves and fall away. Finally, and most horribly, the bees have an 'engulf' attack, where the swarm gets automatic hits against whom ever shares the squares with them. All attacks are for 1d6.

The bee golem fears no critical hit, nor can it perform one. However, there is a 1 in 100 chance that a character is allergic to bees and will suffer a poison condition when stung. Alright, yes, it is technically 6 million to 1, but that's even more useless.

Bee Hounds

Dogs with bees in their mouth. When they bark they shoot bees at you.

Stats: As Dog, but with 1d6 Mouth Bee attack

Items

Bee Helmet

It is a helmet. Full of bees. Provides normal armor bonus and also protects against all Mind altering effects. This is due to the bees constantly stinging you, distracting you from the effects. Anything that needs concentration to sustain also automatically fails.

Charm Person? Not on this guy!

Bee in a vial
Ever wonder what happens when a colony feeds on spilled health potion instead of a sugar source? Ofcourse not. Either way, short answer: Healing bees. Keep one in a vial, shake the vial to anger it, apply to skin. When it stings you, treat as the smallest healing spell you got. Why this? I don't know. Why anything?

Slumgum Candle
A black candle made from the residue of beeswax rendering leftovers. When lit, it burns readily and makes an excellent fire starter. Treat as a standard candle, but one quality grade higher than normal.

Dream Mead
Originally fermented by an adventuring guild looking to make coin the city wouldn't tax (long story), Dream Mead uses the honey harvested from dire bees. While the honey is known to send the eater into a dream filled sleep, the mead sends the drinker into an alcohol fueled vision. The player may ask question composed of a number of words based on the number of drinks consumed; at a rate of two words per drink (8 drinks per bottle; drunk rules are doubled if used, -4 to stats until sober otherwise). Answers then play out before the drinker in response. Multiple drinkers do not get to share word count, but do see the same vision.

Beefolk Armor
If'n you've encountered the Beefolk of the Forgotten Lands ("How is it forgotten? It's on the map!" Shut. Up.) then your Murder Hobos have probably killed one and had the idea to hollow one out and wear their carapace as armor. Luckily, given the size, they can. The exoskeleton provides a Chain mail's rating of armor, and the wearer detects as "bee" or "insect", whichever is more usable. Also, "female" if they killed a worker, "male" if they killed a drone. The Queen, in her Majesty, is not suitable for armor making.


Spells

Summon Bee Golem
Cast via whispering promises of sugar into a lit Slumgum Candle, followed by a complicated dance involving plenty of butt wiggling and blowing out the candle. If outside, the golem arrives within 1d4 rounds. If inside, 1d6 minutes as they attempt to find a route inside. Using the slumgum candle in this manner reduces the quality rank by one.

Bee Eye
This spell requires two bees, who's eggs were laid in the same single hive cell and managed to reach adulthood (not even a remotely natural happening). These malformed bees must be taken from the hive and placed into a jar at the same time. The spell itself is cast via shaking the jar vigorously and shouting the incant, then opening the jar and shoving the opening to your eye. As the first bee inevitably stings the caster, it shrivels to a husk and collapses, leaving the stinger in the caster's eye. The other bee swells with life and vigor it should have had. The caster, in the eye he was stung, is now able to see through the surviving bee and direct its movements. The spell lasts as long as the stinger remains in the caster's eye.

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