I never had television as a kid. Utility companies really hate running out to the ass end of Nowhere for a handful of people too stupid to leave a dying town and the aerial never picked up too well from any of the major stations half a state away. Given them circumstances, I never really got to see cartoons.
So when the OSR community goes on about their "Pirates of Dark Water" or their "Ducktales," I can only nod and pretend to fit in. I know of these things, osmosised from popular culture somehow, but the absolute specifics that friends of mine seem to run on are a mystery to me.
I'm just a Nexus-6 staring at shared memes, wondering who the hell these people were and trying to make connections.
That being said, as soon as I started flipping through the physical copy I had made of "Kingdomites Brutal Frontier", one of the many games made by Hodag, my head snapped back like a Democrat president riding through Dallas. Neurons blazing connectivity in the nicotine soaked meat imprisoned in my fracture lined skull. Autogenic memories boiling to the forefront of Knowing. I was suddenly aware of what an Eternia was. What the hell a Battle Cat was and it's differences to a Snarf. The unfettered joy of crass commercialism and making shit up purely to sell toys.
I sat and flipped through the physical prints: Three A4 sized booklets (The Player Guide and Character Maker; Villains and Vehicles; and the Balloids bonus zine) across 5 sheets of paper, double sided. Immediately what stuck out was the fact that these things were undeniably Hodag and completely DIY. Sure, these days it's easy enough to acquire publishing software and pump out something that looks good, but sterile. All smooth lines and clear, uniform text; readable and usable, but boring.
This? This is pure human made.
Sections of the book are blocked off with a thick marker that wabbeled as Hodag's hand moved across the page. There's not a straight line in this. Marker ink blots in one place from a pause that lasted a moment too long. Hand written text that, with enough patience and careful copying, one can use to produce a letter that'll get Hodag in very big trouble with the local FBI office. Hell, you can even see where there was a piece of dust stuck on the scanner he was using. In these modern days flooded with AI slop, Hodag remains unapologetically human.
The pure, unadulterated DIY of this drug my mind back to the handmade concoctions that were the punk zines of the later 20th century. Hand made out of passion, scoffing at conformity, and dripping with attitude. Thems the sort I would find laying around the flophouse I lived in. Back when I was a feral teen clad in a leather jacket and fueled by horny anger. Scavenging cans for the deposit, just to afford a ticket to a show. My largest expenses being 40s and packs of cigarettes. Before this sorry state I've become. A sad, overweight, divorced, fifty year old man clad in depression and fueled by white monster energy drinks. I drive a minivan and own a sweater vest for god's sake.
I lit the remains of a dogged cigarette - I needed something to slow this train of thought down, countersteam this bastard before it threw me off the rails, sending me careening headlong into the shadowy gorge of forgotten memories. I sat with the lingering self doubts and regrets. Reassured myself that while I own the sweater vest, I cannot firmly verify its whereabouts.
I just...Fuck. Alright. I get the cartoon nostalgia thing now. Better days, better days.
The system itself is straight forward 2d6 "meet or beat" using a points array for the six attributes: Might, Magic, Mechanical, Marksmanship, Mobiles, Motivation. These are for exactly what they sound like (with the last two being for vehicle and emotional actions respectfully). Then there's your Play Points, which cover both your health and magic resources. Combat is simultaneous, with everyone acting at once and relying on the game master to interoperate rolls and make judgements based on the game flow and logic at the current situation.
I can see the logic behind the Play Points lumping in health and magics together, I just ain't entirely sure how I feel about 'em. The points can be reduced by 1d6 via weapon damage, harmful magic, and are easily restored by 1d6 via healing magic. Technically this makes the attempt to heal "free," as you spend 1 Play Point to cast heal for 1d6 Play Point restoration, as long as you're playing a magic character; which you just can. If you want. Sure, why not.
Honestly, a lot of this system relies on a "sure, why not" attitude of relying on the game master. Can your character do magic? "Sure, why not." Can I bring a character back next time after they've already been defeated? "Sure, why not." Can my fur wearing barbarian fly around on a photon powered hoverboard? "Sure, why not." Typically, something like this doesn't work terribly well - take the travesty that is the later books of the Dark Tower for instance.
Wait, hold on. The system and setting are couched around the idea of action figures at play, with no character actually dying, just removed from play for a little bit. "Returning next episode." Alright, I talked myself into it. The Play Points work, you just gotta stop taking everything so seriously. Sure, why not.
Also, as I'm writing this I have the He-Man cartoon playing in the background. The Champion of Castle Greyskull has just invaded Hell with a mechanical elephant man and a laser cowboy. Also heaven was killed? So, sure, why the hell not.
Additionally, there's mention of "how to roll D66" that never really pays off anywhere. A little digging shows this to be a hold over from the "Kingdomites! Of Teknoskull Island" game that Brutal Frontier is based on. Just not really related to the current version. An odd, nominal mention, really.
Over all a firm 4 out of 5, with points off purely for Hodag's preference of Pepsi over Coke.
To get Kingdomites: Brutal Frontier, simply email Hodag at (Hodagmag at Gmail dot com) with the subject line "GET BRUTAL". Additionally, more of Hodag's prolific library of work can be found at his blog, No Foes, No Traps, and his Itch.io page.
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